Here are the links to the first seven parts if you'd like to check them out:
Part I
Part II
Part III
Part IV
Part V
Part VI
Part VII
Okay, so the video. Here's the gist of it (Lord, help me be brief (and accurate)!!):
Dr. Pitre begins with a question:
"How is it that the first generation of Christians, who were Jewish, how did the come to believe so quickly and widely in the Real Presence?"
(so forgive me here. this video is primarily for Catholics. Catholics believe in the "Real Presence" that Jesus Himself is actually present in the Eucharist)
Furthermore, how could this possibly happen when Jews were expressly forbidden to drink the blood of any creature? (in Levitical laws, I believe)
Dr. Pitre proposes that:
It was precisely their Jewish faith that laid the foundation. Jesus fulfilled their Jewish hopes.
Then he presents three key concepts from Jewish history that would predispose the Jewish people to the acceptance of the Real Presence in the bread and the wine.
1. The Passover (Exodus 12)
2. Manna (Exodus 16)
3. Bread of the Presence ("Showbread") (Leviticus 24)
Dr. Pitre begins tackling the first item by asking this question: "What were the first century Christians waiting for in the Messiah?
"
Most of us would answer: "A political Messiah"
Dr. Pitre says that yes, there is some truth to that but what they were actually waiting for was "The New Exodus." They were waiting for a new Moses of sorts. A modern day Moses to lead them out of Roman oppression and domination.
Just as when the Hebrew people were delivered from bondage to the Egyptians, so the Jewish people were also waiting for a deliverance (an exodus) from the bondage of Roman rule. In the first exodus they had a deliverer (Moses), they journeyed for 40 years, they worshiped in the tabernacle, and their destination was Jerusalem. The first exodus began with the Passover (the angel "passed over"). Remember the last of the plages? For the people to be saved from the "angel of death" during that night (the Passover) the Jewish people had to complete exactly these rituals:
-the father had to take a lamb, kill it, and put the blood on the doorposts
-then the family had to eat the flesh of the lamb
Interestingly, this ritual has been come tradition in Jewish homes for thousands of years. During the Passover meal a child in the family asks "Why is this night different from all other nights?"
The father replies "It is because of what the LORD did for me when I came out of Egypt."
So all through history since the first Passover, Jewish people have always met for a Passover meal and have given thanks for what "the LORD did for me when I came out of Egypt." By the way, what does "Eucharist" mean? To give thanks.
Dr. Pitre's proposition makes sense to me. These early Christians saw the echo of their long history in the person of Jesus. Many (not all) saw in Jesus the fulfillment of Jewish hopes.
In the new exodus Jesus is baptized and comes out of the Jordan River (picturing the Hebrews crossing the Red Sea), except instead of the waters parting, this time the heavens open. Jesus feeds the people with bread in the wilderness (remember Moses with manna). Jesus has a forty day testing period in the wilderness. Today the host (the sacred bread of the Eucharist) is kept in the tabernacle. And now, the destination is heaven, the "new Jerusalem."
During the Passover meal Jesus shares with his disciples just before his death, he doesn't follow the normal ritual that the Jewish people have kept for thousands of years. He transforms it into the new Passover. He is the lamb. Just as the Passover meal was the beginning of the exodus from the oppression, so this meal, the Eucharist is the meal of the new exodus. Paul says in I Corinthians,"Christ our pascal (passover) lamb has been sacrificed."
If Jesus is the new Moses, what food will he give for the journey?
God provided manna in the wilderness for the Jewish people. He "rained down bread from heaven for you." (Exodus 16) The manna that God provided for the Hebrew nation in the wilderness rained down from heaven; it was miraculous.
In the new testament Jesus taught the disciples this prayer:
"Our Father who art in heaven. . . give us this day our daily bread."
We translate "daily bread" from the Greek word, Epiousios, which literally means "super essential bread." When Jesus said those words to his disciples, they would have automatically thought of manna. So what is this super essential bread that we are to pray for?
Jesus said to them, "I am the bread of life. Your fathers ate the manna in the wilderness, and they died. This is the bread that comes down from heaven, so that one may eat of it and not die. I am the living bread that came down from heaven. If anyone eats of this bread, he will live forever. And the bread that I will give for the life of the world is my flesh.” (John 6:48-51)
Like we all probably would, the Jewish people grumbled "What? How can you give us your flesh to eat?" Dr. Pitre jokingly says that Jesus responds by saying "Amen, amen, I was only speaking metaphorically."
Seriously, did Jesus speak like he meant this as a metaphor? How does he answer their murmuring question? He makes it even clearer. He spells it out!
So Jesus said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. Whoever feeds on my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day." (John 6:53-54)
The third example from Jewish scripture and tradition, The Bread of the Presence (many might remember it as "Showfar") is compelling as well. I know these posts of mine have been quite long, so I'm thinking I won't continue on with the last example from Scripture and Tradition showing what Jesus meant the Eucharist (communion) to be: a life-giving meal for his followers. If you would like me to share the last point, feel free to comment in the com-box or send me an email. Otherwise you could always watch the video or just fast forward the video past 40 minutes or so.
Suffice it to say, I'm convinced. I see God's faithful and enduring love throughout history as recorded in the Bible and passed on through tradition. The Eucharist has me hooked. I see God's radical love in sending His Son to die for us in 33 AD but also by sending His Son each and every time we receive communion in the Mass. I don't see that he would send miraculous bread from heaven in the old testament but then would send merely symbol (or sign) to us today. The new covenant is the fulfillment of the the old covenant. His love is just as great now as it ever has been. He gives us real food for the journey: Himself. His power is just as great as well; He certainly CAN do this miracle. I can't say that my eyes of faith are strong on this yet but I pray for a greater faith everyday.
Showing posts with label my journey. Show all posts
Showing posts with label my journey. Show all posts
Saturday, August 29, 2015
Friday, August 28, 2015
My story (part VII)
One sunny April afternoon I was cleaning out the kitchen cabinets. It was the end of Lent and this was on my list of Lenten things to do. Spring cleaning. Amazingly the house was quiet. Mace was sleeping and the other three were playing outside. Since it was Lent I got the idea that I should use my quiet time to do something spiritual. Hmm.
I know, I can listen to something on youTube while I clean. Hmm? What should I listen to? Yes, I know. Something about the Eucharist. So I opened up the iPad, opened youTube, and typed in "Eucharist."
I scanned the list of videos. One immediately caught my eye.
"Jesus and the Jewish Roots of the Eucharist"
Perfect!! The video was 1 hour and 12 minutes long.
I started cleaning again and listening. I became completely absorbed. By 54 minutes, I exclaimed in my mind "I got it! I got it! I got it! This is it! If Christianity is true, than THIS is it!" I even emailed Doug "I got it!" He had no idea what I was talking about.
So why did I find this video so intriguing? Why did it seal the deal for me?
Well, I think because it connected ALL the dots for me. Reading the early church fathers was good and helpful. The early church fathers wrote in the first few centuries AD, the beginning of Christianity, but that was not the very beginning of our faith, was it? Genesis 1:1 "In the beginning God created." God was there in the beginning. I needed the start at the beginning of HIStory.
"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God." (John 1:1-2)
The Word? The word? The gospel of John begins so beautifully, so mysteriously. Why is the Word capitalized? Because John refers to a person. Jesus.
Jesus was in the beginning with God the Father. The story of Jesus starts at the creation of the world. In fact, John says in that first chapter that is was the Word (Jesus) that created the world. After God creates the universe, the earth, all the plants and animals, he creates man. Man and woman. Thus begins the story of mankind. Mankind and his interaction with God.
After we read about the creation of the world in Genesis we then meet the first cast members of this epic story. Adam, Eve, Cain, Abel, and their descendants. By chapter five we are meeting Noah and his family. We all know what happens in chapter 8: the flood. Chapter nine opens with God making a covenant with Noah. AAaahh, covenant. Covenant is a very, very big important word in this story of God and mankind. Bigger than I'll ever be able to justice to but I'll just say in Ruthie-language (God help me if I mess this up), covenant is where God invites mankind into relationship with Him. The relationship is sealed in Genesis. After Noah we meet Abram who later becomes Abraham through yet another important covenant. When God makes this covenant with Abraham, he establishes the Jewish nation. God's people. Then we meet Isaac, Jacob, and Jacob's twelve sons. Then we've got Joseph, the brother sold to slave traders and brought to Egypt. He stays in Egypt. His brothers and their families eventually move there as well and you've got the Hebrew people in Egypt for a very long time.
The book of Exodus begins the Hebrews in bondage in Egypt and Moses is born. So where does "my story" fit in? Why this rabbit trail? Because I'm a lifelong Christian. Christians are all part of one giant family who tells the family story over and over and over again. I've heard these stories and I've told these stories many, many times. They are knitted into the fabric of my very being. So as I search for truth in Christianity, it clicks for me in my head, in my heart, and my soul when I see the pieces of the story reflected back to me from the very beginning. When I see the thread of Jesus connected from what I see in the church today all the way to the beginning of time, it all clicks and my heart cries out in joy.
And THAT is what I saw in the video. I see God's love and long-term plan for humanity way back in Exodus. This discussion on the Jewish roots of the Eucharist begins in Exodus chapter 12.
I'm going to write about the video in the next post. I have no idea if anyone out there is even reading my ramblings and finds them mildly interesting but it feels to good to write it out even if just for my own records. It's a digital scrapbook here.
I know, I can listen to something on youTube while I clean. Hmm? What should I listen to? Yes, I know. Something about the Eucharist. So I opened up the iPad, opened youTube, and typed in "Eucharist."
I scanned the list of videos. One immediately caught my eye.
"Jesus and the Jewish Roots of the Eucharist"
Perfect!! The video was 1 hour and 12 minutes long.
I started cleaning again and listening. I became completely absorbed. By 54 minutes, I exclaimed in my mind "I got it! I got it! I got it! This is it! If Christianity is true, than THIS is it!" I even emailed Doug "I got it!" He had no idea what I was talking about.
So why did I find this video so intriguing? Why did it seal the deal for me?
Well, I think because it connected ALL the dots for me. Reading the early church fathers was good and helpful. The early church fathers wrote in the first few centuries AD, the beginning of Christianity, but that was not the very beginning of our faith, was it? Genesis 1:1 "In the beginning God created." God was there in the beginning. I needed the start at the beginning of HIStory.
"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God." (John 1:1-2)
The Word? The word? The gospel of John begins so beautifully, so mysteriously. Why is the Word capitalized? Because John refers to a person. Jesus.
Jesus was in the beginning with God the Father. The story of Jesus starts at the creation of the world. In fact, John says in that first chapter that is was the Word (Jesus) that created the world. After God creates the universe, the earth, all the plants and animals, he creates man. Man and woman. Thus begins the story of mankind. Mankind and his interaction with God.
After we read about the creation of the world in Genesis we then meet the first cast members of this epic story. Adam, Eve, Cain, Abel, and their descendants. By chapter five we are meeting Noah and his family. We all know what happens in chapter 8: the flood. Chapter nine opens with God making a covenant with Noah. AAaahh, covenant. Covenant is a very, very big important word in this story of God and mankind. Bigger than I'll ever be able to justice to but I'll just say in Ruthie-language (God help me if I mess this up), covenant is where God invites mankind into relationship with Him. The relationship is sealed in Genesis. After Noah we meet Abram who later becomes Abraham through yet another important covenant. When God makes this covenant with Abraham, he establishes the Jewish nation. God's people. Then we meet Isaac, Jacob, and Jacob's twelve sons. Then we've got Joseph, the brother sold to slave traders and brought to Egypt. He stays in Egypt. His brothers and their families eventually move there as well and you've got the Hebrew people in Egypt for a very long time.
The book of Exodus begins the Hebrews in bondage in Egypt and Moses is born. So where does "my story" fit in? Why this rabbit trail? Because I'm a lifelong Christian. Christians are all part of one giant family who tells the family story over and over and over again. I've heard these stories and I've told these stories many, many times. They are knitted into the fabric of my very being. So as I search for truth in Christianity, it clicks for me in my head, in my heart, and my soul when I see the pieces of the story reflected back to me from the very beginning. When I see the thread of Jesus connected from what I see in the church today all the way to the beginning of time, it all clicks and my heart cries out in joy.
And THAT is what I saw in the video. I see God's love and long-term plan for humanity way back in Exodus. This discussion on the Jewish roots of the Eucharist begins in Exodus chapter 12.
I'm going to write about the video in the next post. I have no idea if anyone out there is even reading my ramblings and finds them mildly interesting but it feels to good to write it out even if just for my own records. It's a digital scrapbook here.
My story (part VI)
On with the story . . . I'll see if I can wrap this up in one or two posts. :)
So I left off with our family attending weekly Mass here in Wisconsin. It's a thriving community here. I was doing my best to be open to whatever God has for me, even if it means swallowing my pride and any preconceived notions of what Christianity is supposed to look like.
Meanwhile, I was growing little baby Mace inside my womb. I was concentrating my energies on growing a healthy baby and educating the older three.
Things began to stabilize a bit after Mace wasn't quite a newborn anymore and I again told Doug that I'd be open to start reading some early church documents on various topics. He purchased Crossing the Tiber by Steve Ray (at my suggestion) and The Fathers Know Best by Jimmy Aiken. The first half of Crossing the Tiber is the conversion story of Ray and his wife. The second half covers baptism and the Eucharist, the big items for the Rays. The second book is basically a compilation of writings from the early church on various topics, especially those most troublesome to Protestants. Crossing the Tiber was very good and I found no problems there. Fathers Know Best is, of course, not light bedtime reading. It has to be taken slowly, like medicine. I've read a good chunk of it but it is easy to get bogged down. But still it was very good for me to begin to read the actual words of the first church fathers.
Clearly I could see from reading the documents that yes, indeed these Catholic doctrines are historical. They all go right back to new testament times. I honestly could not hold to Protestant doctrines that developed over 1000 years later. I found that I cannot, with a clean conscience, hold onto a Christianity that isn't historical. Christianity started with Jesus Christ, who died in 33 AD, and the apostles to whom he passed on the torch. I found it obvious that Christianity couldn't have been "renewed" with rebellious a German monk in 1522 AD. There couldn't possibly had been some vacuum in the church for one thousand, five hundred years. I can't imagine a God who'd allow His Church to run amok for one thousand, five hundred years. Something must have been happening during that millennium and a half.
The other large items on my mind at the time were the canon of Scripture and the notion of sola scriptura. I'm not a brilliant theological mind or history expert but the Protestant ideas here didn't hold their weight on these issues either. One can easily dig up that the canon of Scripture (the official list of what documents were considered "inspired") were finalized at the Councils of Hippo and Carthage. The Council of Hippo took place in 393 AD and the Council of Carthage took place in 397 and 419 AD. Goodness gracious, that is 350 years after the death of Jesus. That's a long time!! That is longer than the United States has been the United States. So how did the "Bible church" function for over 350 years? Clearly there was no "Bible church" yet because there was no Bible. Yes, letters were read to the community and the Old Testament was read in the synagogue but there was no compiled canon yet.
So how did Christ's Church survive for over three hundred years? By the power of God! Didn't our Lord tell Peter, that the gates of Hell can't even prevail against His church? How in particular did the Church survive? Oral tradition. Ack, that's a scary word for Protestants, right? Tradition.
So here' s a question: "What is, as Christians, our pillar and bulwark of truth?"
Paul writes in I Timothy 3:15 that "the household of God, which is the church of the living God, (is) the pillar and bulwark of truth."
Wow! So not the Bible alone? Not sola scriptura. Paul clearly says that it isn't the Bible alone that is our cornerstone of truth. It is His Church. Here are some more places where we can see in the Bible itself that sola scriptura isn't Biblical.
Ephesians 3:10 "that through the church the manifold wisdom of God might now be made known"
I Thessalonians 3:6. Paul says "Now we command you, brethren, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you keep away from any brother who is living in idleness and not in accord with the tradition that you received from us."
II Thessalonians 2:15. Here Paul states that the tradition could be either written or oral "So then, brethern, stand firm and hold to the traditions which you were taught by us, either by word of mouth or by letter."
Finally, we can see Paul referring to Timothy about passing the teachings down through four generations. "What you have heard from me before many witnesses, entrust to faithful men who will be able to teach others also." II Timothy 2:2 (4 generations: Paul, Timothy, the people Timothy would teach, and the ones they in turn would teach).
So as Christians, we stand firm on the authority and power that God gives us in His written word. But scary as it might be, He also gives power to His Church. And what "church" might that be? All of them? Or one in particular? Or all of them AND one in particular? Hmm. Good question.
Aaaahh, its tough to open all these cans of worms and then just leave them there to just wiggle around. But I'm trying to focus on my story. These were the thoughts running around in my mind. I'm not really out to try to convince anyone that the Catholic Church is the right church. I'm just here to share my journey and the questions that have arisen in my mind in particular.
I hope I am not skipping around here too much so that I'm not making any sense but I suppose that is how my story does unfold. Life is busy and it does tend to skip around, doesn't it? But I suppose the question of authority is a natural one. Where does our lense to interpret Scripture come from? It matters. A lot.
So anyways, I read the Steven Ray book and also chunks of the ancient documents from the church fathers. Other than that, I just kept living and praying for guidance. After a while I had a hunch. I had always assumed that I absolutely needed to research every detail thoroughly before I could make any decision about the Catholic Church. But realistically I knew that would be impossible. I would not be able to do that sort of investigation for years and years. Truth is serious business. It's essential to search for it and hold tight to it until end of your days. If the Catholic Church was true, then I knew I must sign up even if that prospect was undesirable for me. But I couldn't do a PhD on the subject at my place in life.
Oh yes, so my hunch. At some point in this last year, I got this hunch that the question for me all centered on the Eucharist. The claims of the Catholic Church about the Eucharist is really what sets it apart from all other parts of Christendom (in my opinion. well, that and the claim to authority). I had this intuition that if I found the Eucharist to really, truly be the actual body, blood, soul, and divinity of Jesus Christ, then the Catholic Church would be the "most true" room. I was living in Catholic-land and much of this land I could accept BUT the Eucharist. Phew, that's a tough one to swallow. Jesus Christ himself in that little round wafer up there? Hmm. Don't know about that. I wholeheartedly agreed with Jesus's disciples when they murmured "This is hard saying; who can listen to it?" (John 6:60)
To be continued . . . soon
So I left off with our family attending weekly Mass here in Wisconsin. It's a thriving community here. I was doing my best to be open to whatever God has for me, even if it means swallowing my pride and any preconceived notions of what Christianity is supposed to look like.
Meanwhile, I was growing little baby Mace inside my womb. I was concentrating my energies on growing a healthy baby and educating the older three.
Things began to stabilize a bit after Mace wasn't quite a newborn anymore and I again told Doug that I'd be open to start reading some early church documents on various topics. He purchased Crossing the Tiber by Steve Ray (at my suggestion) and The Fathers Know Best by Jimmy Aiken. The first half of Crossing the Tiber is the conversion story of Ray and his wife. The second half covers baptism and the Eucharist, the big items for the Rays. The second book is basically a compilation of writings from the early church on various topics, especially those most troublesome to Protestants. Crossing the Tiber was very good and I found no problems there. Fathers Know Best is, of course, not light bedtime reading. It has to be taken slowly, like medicine. I've read a good chunk of it but it is easy to get bogged down. But still it was very good for me to begin to read the actual words of the first church fathers.
Clearly I could see from reading the documents that yes, indeed these Catholic doctrines are historical. They all go right back to new testament times. I honestly could not hold to Protestant doctrines that developed over 1000 years later. I found that I cannot, with a clean conscience, hold onto a Christianity that isn't historical. Christianity started with Jesus Christ, who died in 33 AD, and the apostles to whom he passed on the torch. I found it obvious that Christianity couldn't have been "renewed" with rebellious a German monk in 1522 AD. There couldn't possibly had been some vacuum in the church for one thousand, five hundred years. I can't imagine a God who'd allow His Church to run amok for one thousand, five hundred years. Something must have been happening during that millennium and a half.
The other large items on my mind at the time were the canon of Scripture and the notion of sola scriptura. I'm not a brilliant theological mind or history expert but the Protestant ideas here didn't hold their weight on these issues either. One can easily dig up that the canon of Scripture (the official list of what documents were considered "inspired") were finalized at the Councils of Hippo and Carthage. The Council of Hippo took place in 393 AD and the Council of Carthage took place in 397 and 419 AD. Goodness gracious, that is 350 years after the death of Jesus. That's a long time!! That is longer than the United States has been the United States. So how did the "Bible church" function for over 350 years? Clearly there was no "Bible church" yet because there was no Bible. Yes, letters were read to the community and the Old Testament was read in the synagogue but there was no compiled canon yet.
So how did Christ's Church survive for over three hundred years? By the power of God! Didn't our Lord tell Peter, that the gates of Hell can't even prevail against His church? How in particular did the Church survive? Oral tradition. Ack, that's a scary word for Protestants, right? Tradition.
So here' s a question: "What is, as Christians, our pillar and bulwark of truth?"
Paul writes in I Timothy 3:15 that "the household of God, which is the church of the living God, (is) the pillar and bulwark of truth."
Wow! So not the Bible alone? Not sola scriptura. Paul clearly says that it isn't the Bible alone that is our cornerstone of truth. It is His Church. Here are some more places where we can see in the Bible itself that sola scriptura isn't Biblical.
Ephesians 3:10 "that through the church the manifold wisdom of God might now be made known"
I Thessalonians 3:6. Paul says "Now we command you, brethren, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you keep away from any brother who is living in idleness and not in accord with the tradition that you received from us."
II Thessalonians 2:15. Here Paul states that the tradition could be either written or oral "So then, brethern, stand firm and hold to the traditions which you were taught by us, either by word of mouth or by letter."
Finally, we can see Paul referring to Timothy about passing the teachings down through four generations. "What you have heard from me before many witnesses, entrust to faithful men who will be able to teach others also." II Timothy 2:2 (4 generations: Paul, Timothy, the people Timothy would teach, and the ones they in turn would teach).
So as Christians, we stand firm on the authority and power that God gives us in His written word. But scary as it might be, He also gives power to His Church. And what "church" might that be? All of them? Or one in particular? Or all of them AND one in particular? Hmm. Good question.
Aaaahh, its tough to open all these cans of worms and then just leave them there to just wiggle around. But I'm trying to focus on my story. These were the thoughts running around in my mind. I'm not really out to try to convince anyone that the Catholic Church is the right church. I'm just here to share my journey and the questions that have arisen in my mind in particular.
I hope I am not skipping around here too much so that I'm not making any sense but I suppose that is how my story does unfold. Life is busy and it does tend to skip around, doesn't it? But I suppose the question of authority is a natural one. Where does our lense to interpret Scripture come from? It matters. A lot.
So anyways, I read the Steven Ray book and also chunks of the ancient documents from the church fathers. Other than that, I just kept living and praying for guidance. After a while I had a hunch. I had always assumed that I absolutely needed to research every detail thoroughly before I could make any decision about the Catholic Church. But realistically I knew that would be impossible. I would not be able to do that sort of investigation for years and years. Truth is serious business. It's essential to search for it and hold tight to it until end of your days. If the Catholic Church was true, then I knew I must sign up even if that prospect was undesirable for me. But I couldn't do a PhD on the subject at my place in life.
Oh yes, so my hunch. At some point in this last year, I got this hunch that the question for me all centered on the Eucharist. The claims of the Catholic Church about the Eucharist is really what sets it apart from all other parts of Christendom (in my opinion. well, that and the claim to authority). I had this intuition that if I found the Eucharist to really, truly be the actual body, blood, soul, and divinity of Jesus Christ, then the Catholic Church would be the "most true" room. I was living in Catholic-land and much of this land I could accept BUT the Eucharist. Phew, that's a tough one to swallow. Jesus Christ himself in that little round wafer up there? Hmm. Don't know about that. I wholeheartedly agreed with Jesus's disciples when they murmured "This is hard saying; who can listen to it?" (John 6:60)
To be continued . . . soon
Thursday, August 27, 2015
My story (part V)
Good Morning,
Moving right along on this thing . . . I might just be done by Christmas. Babahaha. No worries. I won't torture you that long. Maybe just Halloween. (wink)
Okay, so we left off with the whole fam attending one church together. The Catholic Church. First in Washington and now here in Wisconsin. Good people here in Wisconsin. We like it here (of course, we also liked Minnesota, Alaska, and Washington too: lots of good people and places in this world). Rural Wisconsin is fitting like a glove. We are blessed with a nice little spot in our corner of the world. We have a fantastic community network and are starting to build some solid friendships. It's beautiful.
I don't recall if this started in Washington but I want to say it was here in Wisconsin. But I got to a place where things (the Catholic church thing) started to seem plausible. There were a list of various beliefs, doctrines, and customs that that made some sense. Maybe I didn't believe them but I saw that possibility of truth in some things. I started praying a shy prayer to God my Father. Something I was nervous to even admit it to myself at first and I certainly didn't share it with anyone else, even Doug. Lord, I see that this Catholic thing could possibly be true. If it is, I will try to follow you. I will try to be open to whatever you might have. I can't promise anything on a day to day basis but I'll try to be pliable. And I carried on with life as usual. One can't pause too long with three active kiddos at home all day.
During the "purple seasons" of Lent and Advent I usually gave God a little more space to move in my heart. Thank God for seasons, huh!? I think it was just before Advent just after we moved here I went on a walk. Oohh, exercise is the best thinking time for me! A thought popped in my head. Now if there was a book like Mere Christianity for Catholicism I just might consider reading it. I went home and told Doug "If there is a Catholic equivalent to Mere Christianity, I'll read it." Statements such as these were unheard of spoken by me, so Doug jumped at the chance. That very day. And what do you know? He quickly found it. More Christianity by Father Dwight Longenecker. Doug ordered it off amazon and bam! it was in my hands. It was, of course, perfect for me. Dwight Longenecker is a convert himself and a CS Lewis fan. I was quite familiar with some of his background. He went to Bob Jones University, if I remember right, which is one of the ones that my Baptist upbringing supported.
I enjoyed his book. He discussed a number of common problems that Protestants have with the Catholic Church. I found them interesting and provoking. I wasn't convinced but saying to myself "Huh, well, I'll have to look into this." After I read the book I felt like I needed to go through the book page by page verifying his points on the scripture passages he referred to and also to the church fathers he quoted. I actually started but then ya know, there's this mothering and educating thing I do. I didn't have a whole lot of time.
Here's the part of the book that really stuck with me. It's in the very beginning of the book. He quotes an analogy that CS Lewis wrote about someplace.
It went something like this: Christianity is like a house. Now let's assume you believe Christianity is true and you are in this house. You have hallways and rooms that come off the hallways. Those rooms are different churches in Christianity. Now you could just wait in the hallway but really you should go into a room, right? Hallways have their purposes but really hallways are basically waiting places. One shouldn't really think of it as a place to camp out in, correct? One should eventually choose a room. It's the rooms where the fireplaces are and the couches and the meals are eaten. Where you live. Yep, I've been camping out in the hallway for quite some time now.
Now, how does one go about deciding which room to enter? By matter of preference for the style? Oohh, I like this color and paneling. Or oohh, I like this worship band but not that kind of service. Shouldn't our choice by guided by truth instead of mere preference for style and appearance? This begs the question: do all rooms have an equal amount of truth? If so, then by all means, our choice can most certainly be made according to style and taste. But if not, then we should be searching for the room that is "most true" right? If we find the door that is "most true," then logic says that we must enter that room (ie, join that church) even if we don't like its appearance. That could be difficult. Chances are, the room that is "most true, could be the room we find most unattractive.
Anyhow, so many more good thoughts following up that analogy from Lewis and followed up by Longenecker. Let's have coffee and talk more!! :) One more idea/quote that stuck with me from this book. Another quote he discussed. From F.D. Maurice: "A man is most often right in what he affirms and wrong in what he denies."
Longenecker goes on to say "Too many of our religious positions are assumed more by what we deny rather than what we affirm. . . . A Protestant may worship in a bare preaching hall not because he likes bare rooms but because he thinks ornamentation is vain and idolatrous. Time and again our stance is determined by what we are denying rather than what we are affirming. "
"When faced with the challenge of affirming, not denying, the lifelong, conservative Evangelical may well draw back. After all, he's been trained to "be discerning." He's trained to sniff out liberalism and wrong doctrine and pin it to the ropes with a swift right hook. To go about "affirming all things" sounds a bit gooey and "liberal." It's admirable to defend the faith, but too often Protestantism has taught us to prtest, and our whole identity is defined by our protest. Protestantism has bred in us the mentality tht immediately squints in suspicion and says, "Prove it." . . . Of course our denials are well-meant. We wish to avoid abuses and false teaching of various kinds. Unfortunately the desire to avoid an abuse has too often denied a right use."
Bam! That stuck. Thus the title "More Christianity." The idea I was left with was "What if instead of embracing this mindset of "mere Christianity," Christianity that has been distilled down to its bare structure, only keeping the essentials, what about possibly considering the fullness, the richness God has to offer instead? What would God my Father want for me? To settle with the skeleton structure? That's better than nothing, I suppose but I suspect like any good father, he wants the BEST for me. To enjoy the vast richness He has to offer me, His child. What if I considered more Christianity instead of mere Christianity?
To be continued . . .soon.
Moving right along on this thing . . . I might just be done by Christmas. Babahaha. No worries. I won't torture you that long. Maybe just Halloween. (wink)
Okay, so we left off with the whole fam attending one church together. The Catholic Church. First in Washington and now here in Wisconsin. Good people here in Wisconsin. We like it here (of course, we also liked Minnesota, Alaska, and Washington too: lots of good people and places in this world). Rural Wisconsin is fitting like a glove. We are blessed with a nice little spot in our corner of the world. We have a fantastic community network and are starting to build some solid friendships. It's beautiful.
I don't recall if this started in Washington but I want to say it was here in Wisconsin. But I got to a place where things (the Catholic church thing) started to seem plausible. There were a list of various beliefs, doctrines, and customs that that made some sense. Maybe I didn't believe them but I saw that possibility of truth in some things. I started praying a shy prayer to God my Father. Something I was nervous to even admit it to myself at first and I certainly didn't share it with anyone else, even Doug. Lord, I see that this Catholic thing could possibly be true. If it is, I will try to follow you. I will try to be open to whatever you might have. I can't promise anything on a day to day basis but I'll try to be pliable. And I carried on with life as usual. One can't pause too long with three active kiddos at home all day.
During the "purple seasons" of Lent and Advent I usually gave God a little more space to move in my heart. Thank God for seasons, huh!? I think it was just before Advent just after we moved here I went on a walk. Oohh, exercise is the best thinking time for me! A thought popped in my head. Now if there was a book like Mere Christianity for Catholicism I just might consider reading it. I went home and told Doug "If there is a Catholic equivalent to Mere Christianity, I'll read it." Statements such as these were unheard of spoken by me, so Doug jumped at the chance. That very day. And what do you know? He quickly found it. More Christianity by Father Dwight Longenecker. Doug ordered it off amazon and bam! it was in my hands. It was, of course, perfect for me. Dwight Longenecker is a convert himself and a CS Lewis fan. I was quite familiar with some of his background. He went to Bob Jones University, if I remember right, which is one of the ones that my Baptist upbringing supported.
I enjoyed his book. He discussed a number of common problems that Protestants have with the Catholic Church. I found them interesting and provoking. I wasn't convinced but saying to myself "Huh, well, I'll have to look into this." After I read the book I felt like I needed to go through the book page by page verifying his points on the scripture passages he referred to and also to the church fathers he quoted. I actually started but then ya know, there's this mothering and educating thing I do. I didn't have a whole lot of time.
Here's the part of the book that really stuck with me. It's in the very beginning of the book. He quotes an analogy that CS Lewis wrote about someplace.
It went something like this: Christianity is like a house. Now let's assume you believe Christianity is true and you are in this house. You have hallways and rooms that come off the hallways. Those rooms are different churches in Christianity. Now you could just wait in the hallway but really you should go into a room, right? Hallways have their purposes but really hallways are basically waiting places. One shouldn't really think of it as a place to camp out in, correct? One should eventually choose a room. It's the rooms where the fireplaces are and the couches and the meals are eaten. Where you live. Yep, I've been camping out in the hallway for quite some time now.
Now, how does one go about deciding which room to enter? By matter of preference for the style? Oohh, I like this color and paneling. Or oohh, I like this worship band but not that kind of service. Shouldn't our choice by guided by truth instead of mere preference for style and appearance? This begs the question: do all rooms have an equal amount of truth? If so, then by all means, our choice can most certainly be made according to style and taste. But if not, then we should be searching for the room that is "most true" right? If we find the door that is "most true," then logic says that we must enter that room (ie, join that church) even if we don't like its appearance. That could be difficult. Chances are, the room that is "most true, could be the room we find most unattractive.
Anyhow, so many more good thoughts following up that analogy from Lewis and followed up by Longenecker. Let's have coffee and talk more!! :) One more idea/quote that stuck with me from this book. Another quote he discussed. From F.D. Maurice: "A man is most often right in what he affirms and wrong in what he denies."
Longenecker goes on to say "Too many of our religious positions are assumed more by what we deny rather than what we affirm. . . . A Protestant may worship in a bare preaching hall not because he likes bare rooms but because he thinks ornamentation is vain and idolatrous. Time and again our stance is determined by what we are denying rather than what we are affirming. "
"When faced with the challenge of affirming, not denying, the lifelong, conservative Evangelical may well draw back. After all, he's been trained to "be discerning." He's trained to sniff out liberalism and wrong doctrine and pin it to the ropes with a swift right hook. To go about "affirming all things" sounds a bit gooey and "liberal." It's admirable to defend the faith, but too often Protestantism has taught us to prtest, and our whole identity is defined by our protest. Protestantism has bred in us the mentality tht immediately squints in suspicion and says, "Prove it." . . . Of course our denials are well-meant. We wish to avoid abuses and false teaching of various kinds. Unfortunately the desire to avoid an abuse has too often denied a right use."
Bam! That stuck. Thus the title "More Christianity." The idea I was left with was "What if instead of embracing this mindset of "mere Christianity," Christianity that has been distilled down to its bare structure, only keeping the essentials, what about possibly considering the fullness, the richness God has to offer instead? What would God my Father want for me? To settle with the skeleton structure? That's better than nothing, I suppose but I suspect like any good father, he wants the BEST for me. To enjoy the vast richness He has to offer me, His child. What if I considered more Christianity instead of mere Christianity?
To be continued . . .soon.
Wednesday, August 26, 2015
My story (part IV)
Happy Wednesday to ya'll!
It's cccooolld here. I can't believe this is August!
Onward with the story! Where did I leave off?
So Doug became a Catholic Christian. We tried all different combinations of church attendance for a number of years. Often Doug would go to an early mass and then attend the non-denominational church with the kids and I. Occasionally the kids and I would accompany him to the Catholic Church. For me the Catholic Church was so foreign and awkward. Very different from what I was used to. The vestments the priests wore were so strange to me. It appeared to me that the priest felt himself so high and mighty that he wore such elaborate coverings. He sat in a chair that was almost throne-like. I felt it hypocritical. And what's all this standing, kneeling, reciting all about?
These years were quite lonely for me. In our original church in Minnesota we had such a fantastic network of friendships and community. But then we moved a couple of times. First for training in Doug's new job field and then for his first official placement in the field. So finding friendships amongst the moving and the busyness of the new parenting life was challenging. More than anything it was difficult to establish community in our lives because of the juggling of churches we were trying to keep up. It is so essential in thriving faith communities to build strong bonds. We were finding it impossible to establish these bonds by going to two churches.
When we moved to Washington Doug worked the night shift. Often he worked the night shift and also worked on weekends. So he would go to church on his own between shifts sometimes and I would take the kids to a Bible church. It was awkward for me to attend church on Sunday alone with the kids. If I ever explained that my husband was a Catholic convert, I would feel the judgement. Now I probably often jumped to conclusions in my mind. I can do that. Bad habit. :( Still, what I perceived was a certain pity and superiority in the air. It drove me nuts. I wanted to tell these people, "You know don't me. You don't understand my husband. He is a good, faithful man. His journey is a well thought out one. He isn't just jumping off the deep end." I didn't understand that journey myself but I knew it wasn't a naive adoption of some random new truths.
Let me take a brief rabbit trail here. I noticed something in this journey from the very beginning. Never once did I feel the conviction that I needed to convince Doug of anything. I never, ever felt it was my place to try to convince him that the Catholic Church is wrong. Never. In my prayers I simply felt the call to keep following Jesus. I felt convicted that if I did that, eventually all the details would be worked out by God Himself.
Ultimately, I trusted my husband and I trusted God's work in his life. I was baffled by it all but I tried not to think about it too much lest my brains would burst. ;) Consequently, I came to a place where I would be amused about the position I found myself in. Mr. Doug is a theology-loving machine. He can't help but talk about these things ALL. THE. TIME. So I couldn't help but learn some Catholic theology along the way. I didn't believe in the tenets of Catholicism myself but I picked up many things by osmosis. So the humorous position I found myself undertaking at times would be one of the Catholic apologist sympathizer. I didn't embrace Catholicism and I didn't agree with my husband but I understood to some extent where he was coming from. And I loved him. So often I would find myself defending him and his faith. I would explain what the Catholics believe in a simple way. "Well, you see they aren't worshiping saints, its like this . . . . " And then I'd laugh to myself. Isn't this just weird? Never thought I'd be defending Catholicism.
Anywho . . . Washington. So we were attending two churches. Eventually, I got to a breaking point. This couldn't be done. We needed some sort of unity here. Our sense of family was most important. I felt no longer comfortable in the non-denominational church. I didn't like to go alone and misunderstood when I did. So I decided to give all that up and go to church with Doug each Sunday. I knew I could find Jesus there. Every Sunday Scripture is read in bulk. There is always an old testament reading, a psalm, an epistle and a gospel read aloud.
I didn't recognize it at the time but later I would think of my transition using this analogy. It was liked I moved to a foreign country with my spouse. Catholic-land. Different language, different customs, etc. This analogy fit very well for me. The funny thing is that I NEVER felt the pity and superiority that I had felt elsewhere. (actually I have since experienced it once. once in the hundreds of Catholics I have met) The natives of this land accepted me in sincerity. They didn't flinch when I explained I wasn't Catholic. They treated me with respect and sincere friendship. It was a little lonely and odd in this new land but it was kind and sincere. That I could do. I knew I would never completely feel like "one of the gang" unless I undertook citizenship. But people do live whole lifetimes as foreigners in another land. It can be done.
Fortunately, this period in our journey was not too bad. It has been awkward during the Mass when it comes time for the congregation to receive the Eucharist. This always makes me nervy. Usually I grab the baby or toddler and head for the back. Babies and toddlers in church have been tiring to hold for an entire mass but also a convenient excuse. I mean, what's a person to do? I didn't believe in the reality of the Eucharist and it is awkward for me to not go forward when everyone else is. I literally would just be in the way of everyone else walking forward.
My way of making life bearable in this foreign land was to embrace what I was comfortable embracing. Of course, during the Mass itself I could sing with all my heart many of the songs. I could sincerely pray the intentions. The Scripture readings were food for my soul.
I also begin to appreciate the liturgical seasons of the year. That made sense to me. It gelled with the integration of life that Doug and I always talked about. The book of Ecclesiastes says "There is a season for everything . . ." It's such an organic theme that makes sense to my mind. I'm a food lover and a bit of a "natural" girl. So it makes sense that I cook what is in season. It is economical for our world and good for one's body to eat seasonally. It only goes to say that the same idea would work in the life of the Church and in one's heart and soul as well. There is a time to feast and a time to fast. A time to mourn and a time to dance. There is a time to sow and a time to reap. You have the "purple" seasons in the church. The sober times when the church considers turning from our sins and practices discipline to do so. We think of Jesus's forty days of trial in the desert. Then there are times are the times we celebrate the victory of Christ's victory over sin and death. The "white" season of Easter. Aha, the various colors of the priest's vestments started making sense.
Also on the Church's liturgical calendar are the daily Scripture readings. This also made good sense to me. So throughout each and every year, we follow the life of Christ and the Church. As we follow those events, we read about it in Scripture. In fact, if you follow the readings you will read through the Bible in its entirety again and again and again. We learn something new each time and hopefully grow in faith every time we walk through the year. This process I found I could joyfully bring into the life and education of my whole family. And into my personal devotions. It was good to be reading the same passages and following the same events as my husband and bring the children into it as well. It is a good and unifying thing to be able to go into any Catholic Church on a Sunday in the whole world and be reading the same readings. A huge Bible study!! (IF one chooses to follow along)
So we've been in this place for some time now. Worshiping Jesus in our home but also together in the same building, establishing community with those around us, and celebrating the Church year together. I have still been living in a foreign land. I haven't been a citizen here but living amongst cousins in the Lord has been tolerable, good even. The people are kind and welcoming. I have had a genuine affection for the land, the people, and many of the customs.
It's cccooolld here. I can't believe this is August!
Onward with the story! Where did I leave off?
So Doug became a Catholic Christian. We tried all different combinations of church attendance for a number of years. Often Doug would go to an early mass and then attend the non-denominational church with the kids and I. Occasionally the kids and I would accompany him to the Catholic Church. For me the Catholic Church was so foreign and awkward. Very different from what I was used to. The vestments the priests wore were so strange to me. It appeared to me that the priest felt himself so high and mighty that he wore such elaborate coverings. He sat in a chair that was almost throne-like. I felt it hypocritical. And what's all this standing, kneeling, reciting all about?
These years were quite lonely for me. In our original church in Minnesota we had such a fantastic network of friendships and community. But then we moved a couple of times. First for training in Doug's new job field and then for his first official placement in the field. So finding friendships amongst the moving and the busyness of the new parenting life was challenging. More than anything it was difficult to establish community in our lives because of the juggling of churches we were trying to keep up. It is so essential in thriving faith communities to build strong bonds. We were finding it impossible to establish these bonds by going to two churches.
When we moved to Washington Doug worked the night shift. Often he worked the night shift and also worked on weekends. So he would go to church on his own between shifts sometimes and I would take the kids to a Bible church. It was awkward for me to attend church on Sunday alone with the kids. If I ever explained that my husband was a Catholic convert, I would feel the judgement. Now I probably often jumped to conclusions in my mind. I can do that. Bad habit. :( Still, what I perceived was a certain pity and superiority in the air. It drove me nuts. I wanted to tell these people, "You know don't me. You don't understand my husband. He is a good, faithful man. His journey is a well thought out one. He isn't just jumping off the deep end." I didn't understand that journey myself but I knew it wasn't a naive adoption of some random new truths.
Let me take a brief rabbit trail here. I noticed something in this journey from the very beginning. Never once did I feel the conviction that I needed to convince Doug of anything. I never, ever felt it was my place to try to convince him that the Catholic Church is wrong. Never. In my prayers I simply felt the call to keep following Jesus. I felt convicted that if I did that, eventually all the details would be worked out by God Himself.
Ultimately, I trusted my husband and I trusted God's work in his life. I was baffled by it all but I tried not to think about it too much lest my brains would burst. ;) Consequently, I came to a place where I would be amused about the position I found myself in. Mr. Doug is a theology-loving machine. He can't help but talk about these things ALL. THE. TIME. So I couldn't help but learn some Catholic theology along the way. I didn't believe in the tenets of Catholicism myself but I picked up many things by osmosis. So the humorous position I found myself undertaking at times would be one of the Catholic apologist sympathizer. I didn't embrace Catholicism and I didn't agree with my husband but I understood to some extent where he was coming from. And I loved him. So often I would find myself defending him and his faith. I would explain what the Catholics believe in a simple way. "Well, you see they aren't worshiping saints, its like this . . . . " And then I'd laugh to myself. Isn't this just weird? Never thought I'd be defending Catholicism.
Anywho . . . Washington. So we were attending two churches. Eventually, I got to a breaking point. This couldn't be done. We needed some sort of unity here. Our sense of family was most important. I felt no longer comfortable in the non-denominational church. I didn't like to go alone and misunderstood when I did. So I decided to give all that up and go to church with Doug each Sunday. I knew I could find Jesus there. Every Sunday Scripture is read in bulk. There is always an old testament reading, a psalm, an epistle and a gospel read aloud.
I didn't recognize it at the time but later I would think of my transition using this analogy. It was liked I moved to a foreign country with my spouse. Catholic-land. Different language, different customs, etc. This analogy fit very well for me. The funny thing is that I NEVER felt the pity and superiority that I had felt elsewhere. (actually I have since experienced it once. once in the hundreds of Catholics I have met) The natives of this land accepted me in sincerity. They didn't flinch when I explained I wasn't Catholic. They treated me with respect and sincere friendship. It was a little lonely and odd in this new land but it was kind and sincere. That I could do. I knew I would never completely feel like "one of the gang" unless I undertook citizenship. But people do live whole lifetimes as foreigners in another land. It can be done.
Fortunately, this period in our journey was not too bad. It has been awkward during the Mass when it comes time for the congregation to receive the Eucharist. This always makes me nervy. Usually I grab the baby or toddler and head for the back. Babies and toddlers in church have been tiring to hold for an entire mass but also a convenient excuse. I mean, what's a person to do? I didn't believe in the reality of the Eucharist and it is awkward for me to not go forward when everyone else is. I literally would just be in the way of everyone else walking forward.
My way of making life bearable in this foreign land was to embrace what I was comfortable embracing. Of course, during the Mass itself I could sing with all my heart many of the songs. I could sincerely pray the intentions. The Scripture readings were food for my soul.
I also begin to appreciate the liturgical seasons of the year. That made sense to me. It gelled with the integration of life that Doug and I always talked about. The book of Ecclesiastes says "There is a season for everything . . ." It's such an organic theme that makes sense to my mind. I'm a food lover and a bit of a "natural" girl. So it makes sense that I cook what is in season. It is economical for our world and good for one's body to eat seasonally. It only goes to say that the same idea would work in the life of the Church and in one's heart and soul as well. There is a time to feast and a time to fast. A time to mourn and a time to dance. There is a time to sow and a time to reap. You have the "purple" seasons in the church. The sober times when the church considers turning from our sins and practices discipline to do so. We think of Jesus's forty days of trial in the desert. Then there are times are the times we celebrate the victory of Christ's victory over sin and death. The "white" season of Easter. Aha, the various colors of the priest's vestments started making sense.
Also on the Church's liturgical calendar are the daily Scripture readings. This also made good sense to me. So throughout each and every year, we follow the life of Christ and the Church. As we follow those events, we read about it in Scripture. In fact, if you follow the readings you will read through the Bible in its entirety again and again and again. We learn something new each time and hopefully grow in faith every time we walk through the year. This process I found I could joyfully bring into the life and education of my whole family. And into my personal devotions. It was good to be reading the same passages and following the same events as my husband and bring the children into it as well. It is a good and unifying thing to be able to go into any Catholic Church on a Sunday in the whole world and be reading the same readings. A huge Bible study!! (IF one chooses to follow along)
So we've been in this place for some time now. Worshiping Jesus in our home but also together in the same building, establishing community with those around us, and celebrating the Church year together. I have still been living in a foreign land. I haven't been a citizen here but living amongst cousins in the Lord has been tolerable, good even. The people are kind and welcoming. I have had a genuine affection for the land, the people, and many of the customs.
Monday, August 24, 2015
My story (part III)
Hello There again,
Let's see how much of this I will be able to write right now. Everyone's occupied. . . for the moment. I have do a number of things to get done this week but my heart tugs at me to keep working on this. Why? Some of you might find it superfluous. I do this because some of my loved ones find this conversion troubling and painful. It just doesn't make sense. Dumbfounding. How you can honestly believe everything the Catholic Church believes? It makes no sense. I feel the burden to share my heart because I want to help heal division. I want to ease any pain if possible. It feels impossible but if there is any way I can help with even a tiny bit of healing, I want to try. This division goes back several hundred years, I know I won't fix it but I want to attempt to do my little part.
Alrighty . . . the story of my heart continues. . . .
Doug and I got married. In a good, solid, Bible-believing church in Minnesota. We were spending most of our time doing church outreach with refugees. We were learning how to be married. Now, maybe some of you might remember that once I did a blog post about NFP (natural family planning). You could probably find it here if you looked a bit. It was one of our "aha" moments when we both found out that we both were not comfortable with artificial birth control. We had no idea how to go about it naturally. So we went to Barnes and Noble and stumbled upon the title "Natural Family Planning." The title was perfect. We thumbed through it. I noticed all the charts and scientific explanations. Just what I needed. Doug noticed the history and theology of it. He was happy. So we bought the book and started studying. I learned (along with another book), what I needed to know. Doug was fascinated with the other reading.
If Doug were to write a guest blog post (and I'd love him to if anyone here would enjoy it), I think he would say that much of his interest in the Catholic Church started with this book. (I just deleted a paragraph about what Doug saw in that book because it is fascinating on its own. But I will try to stick with my subject here. It's tough because so much is connected. I, and I think we all could, write a book on various portions of our lives.)
Anyhow, that book really got him to thinking, so he read more. He read another book and another and another. At some point I think he said, "Oh my, I think I stand more on the Catholic position on this." I didn't go there with him. I was freaked out. I was thinking "What in heaven's name are you reading." It bothered me. There he goes reading about justification AGAIN. What is going on here? But I tried not to let it bother me and went on with other things.
After a while, Doug started coming to a place where he thought he would probably become Catholic (again sorry, I'm for lengths sake I really have to condense this. so the accuracy and timing might be a little off. you can call Doug and ask his side :). Well, that brought the abrupt end to our church ministry. They wanted nothing to do with Catholicism. I won't go into that in detail but that was very painful for me in a number of ways. I felt rudely abandoned by people who called themselves Christian. Fortunately I have known from the beginning that is isn't Christ himself who hurts others. It is people. We are sinful, ugly, and mean. Right, aren't we? Many, many people have hurt others in the name of Christ. Unfortunately it has turned many people away from God and from his church. Like I said, fortunately, from a young age I understood that there will always be hurt and even scandal because men are sinful. I wasn't tempted to turn from God because I knew the hurt is due to men's own shortcomings.
It did hurt though. These years of Doug's conversion were very painful. I'm not sure how much to go into detail here. ( I would love to be available for anyone going through something similar because I know it is uncommon to find resources for people in such a place.) Some of the hurt came from others. The hurt didn't usually come in the form of words. Doug did receive hurtful words from a few friends. Our relationship with our ministry was abruptly severed. What was most hurtful for me was the deafening silence. Here I was as a young newlywed suffering through something I couldn't even begin to understand. I had no idea what to do or think. I would have loved to have prayed with an older woman. To receive a hug in the midst of the confusion. But nothing. No one wanted to talk about it. Well, I can't so "no one." I did have a special little prayer group with some girls who didn't condemn me or my husband. They listened. I think they just had no idea what to say. And I do have to say that once a couple we did most of our ministry alongside invited us over to their house, sat us down, and tried to approach the issue. I think they didn't really know what to say either but it was something. In the middle of the hurtful silence it was something to hold on to. It is the most painful thing to be in the middle of hurt and to be alone. May I be that for others, right??!! May I approach the difficult issue, acknowledge that I don't understand, but at least say "I love you. I care."
The hurt came from within our marriage as well. Like I said, I was simply confused and bewildered. What was I do with this? I've never even HEARD of something like this before. One minute I would be angry and thinking "Why would you do this to me? You should have told me BEFORE we got married! We were perfectly happy at our church, in our ministry. Life was good! Now what?" But I couldn't stay angry for long. Deep down I knew this man. His is a good heart. A heart of gold. He wouldn't hurt me for the world. I knew that he had insatiable thirst for truth; the whole reason why I wanted to marry him. So now the very virtue that I saw in this man was the very thing tearing us apart. He saw the Catholic Church as true. I did not. For a Christian couple who tries their best to follow Jesus, this division is real. It cuts to the heart.
There were a few painful moments when I would scream aloud in my mind I CANNOT DO THIS!!!! I would take the car and go on a long, tear-filled drive. I didn't want to go back home. But when my emotions settled down a bit and I could rationalize, I knew leaving my marriage was not an option. There HAD to be a way through this. An older friend once told me something along the lines of "A marriage can thrive even with significant difficulties." Wow! I thought about that. It can thrive?? I knew this struggle for us would be for the long haul. I would not quit on our marriage. I loved Doug. I wouldn't give up on him. On us. So I concentrated on living it. We CAN thrive. We WILL love and live and be happy. And we did.
Yes, it was difficult. We did our best to navigate things. We went to two churches for years. I went to Doug's confirmation and first Eucharist. I cried when we met the priest. Fortunately the priest was gentle. He understood my sadness. He was a convert himself. An Indian man who came from a Hindu background. He knew the pain it had caused his parents. So he understood my tears and said so.
Oh, one other piece. How was I to move ahead spiritually? Doug didn't understand why I didn't even investigate the Catholic Church. He was hurting too but I didn't have eyes to see that. Only now can I begin to understand his hurt. I knew I couldn't even consider the Catholic Church. It was not on my radar. I never would have even given it a second thought if it weren't for Doug. For years to come my mantra would be along these lines "Just concentrate on Jesus. Read your Bible and pray. Keep your eyes on Jesus. Sit at his feet". That's it. One small thing. Day after day. My mind and emotions just couldn't go there, where Doug was. I couldn't. I can't describe it. It's like my mind and my emotions were filled to bursting. If I even tried to think of Doug's conversion, the Catholic Church, and how this is going to work in our family, I would burst. The seams would rip and I would fall apart. For the time being, I just kept one foot in front of the other. Walking slowly, holding Jesus's hand. And my husband's. Loving him. That was all I could do.
And in the meantime we had job upheaval, premature twin babies, and moves across the country. Life was full and HARD. But we all have seasons like that, right? It waxes and wanes. Rises and falls. We've got to keep steady. Keep our eyes on the goal and never lose hope. "Hope dies last," a Russian told me once.
To be continued. . . soon. . .
Part I here
Part II here
Let's see how much of this I will be able to write right now. Everyone's occupied. . . for the moment. I have do a number of things to get done this week but my heart tugs at me to keep working on this. Why? Some of you might find it superfluous. I do this because some of my loved ones find this conversion troubling and painful. It just doesn't make sense. Dumbfounding. How you can honestly believe everything the Catholic Church believes? It makes no sense. I feel the burden to share my heart because I want to help heal division. I want to ease any pain if possible. It feels impossible but if there is any way I can help with even a tiny bit of healing, I want to try. This division goes back several hundred years, I know I won't fix it but I want to attempt to do my little part.
Alrighty . . . the story of my heart continues. . . .
Doug and I got married. In a good, solid, Bible-believing church in Minnesota. We were spending most of our time doing church outreach with refugees. We were learning how to be married. Now, maybe some of you might remember that once I did a blog post about NFP (natural family planning). You could probably find it here if you looked a bit. It was one of our "aha" moments when we both found out that we both were not comfortable with artificial birth control. We had no idea how to go about it naturally. So we went to Barnes and Noble and stumbled upon the title "Natural Family Planning." The title was perfect. We thumbed through it. I noticed all the charts and scientific explanations. Just what I needed. Doug noticed the history and theology of it. He was happy. So we bought the book and started studying. I learned (along with another book), what I needed to know. Doug was fascinated with the other reading.
If Doug were to write a guest blog post (and I'd love him to if anyone here would enjoy it), I think he would say that much of his interest in the Catholic Church started with this book. (I just deleted a paragraph about what Doug saw in that book because it is fascinating on its own. But I will try to stick with my subject here. It's tough because so much is connected. I, and I think we all could, write a book on various portions of our lives.)
Anyhow, that book really got him to thinking, so he read more. He read another book and another and another. At some point I think he said, "Oh my, I think I stand more on the Catholic position on this." I didn't go there with him. I was freaked out. I was thinking "What in heaven's name are you reading." It bothered me. There he goes reading about justification AGAIN. What is going on here? But I tried not to let it bother me and went on with other things.
After a while, Doug started coming to a place where he thought he would probably become Catholic (again sorry, I'm for lengths sake I really have to condense this. so the accuracy and timing might be a little off. you can call Doug and ask his side :). Well, that brought the abrupt end to our church ministry. They wanted nothing to do with Catholicism. I won't go into that in detail but that was very painful for me in a number of ways. I felt rudely abandoned by people who called themselves Christian. Fortunately I have known from the beginning that is isn't Christ himself who hurts others. It is people. We are sinful, ugly, and mean. Right, aren't we? Many, many people have hurt others in the name of Christ. Unfortunately it has turned many people away from God and from his church. Like I said, fortunately, from a young age I understood that there will always be hurt and even scandal because men are sinful. I wasn't tempted to turn from God because I knew the hurt is due to men's own shortcomings.
It did hurt though. These years of Doug's conversion were very painful. I'm not sure how much to go into detail here. ( I would love to be available for anyone going through something similar because I know it is uncommon to find resources for people in such a place.) Some of the hurt came from others. The hurt didn't usually come in the form of words. Doug did receive hurtful words from a few friends. Our relationship with our ministry was abruptly severed. What was most hurtful for me was the deafening silence. Here I was as a young newlywed suffering through something I couldn't even begin to understand. I had no idea what to do or think. I would have loved to have prayed with an older woman. To receive a hug in the midst of the confusion. But nothing. No one wanted to talk about it. Well, I can't so "no one." I did have a special little prayer group with some girls who didn't condemn me or my husband. They listened. I think they just had no idea what to say. And I do have to say that once a couple we did most of our ministry alongside invited us over to their house, sat us down, and tried to approach the issue. I think they didn't really know what to say either but it was something. In the middle of the hurtful silence it was something to hold on to. It is the most painful thing to be in the middle of hurt and to be alone. May I be that for others, right??!! May I approach the difficult issue, acknowledge that I don't understand, but at least say "I love you. I care."
The hurt came from within our marriage as well. Like I said, I was simply confused and bewildered. What was I do with this? I've never even HEARD of something like this before. One minute I would be angry and thinking "Why would you do this to me? You should have told me BEFORE we got married! We were perfectly happy at our church, in our ministry. Life was good! Now what?" But I couldn't stay angry for long. Deep down I knew this man. His is a good heart. A heart of gold. He wouldn't hurt me for the world. I knew that he had insatiable thirst for truth; the whole reason why I wanted to marry him. So now the very virtue that I saw in this man was the very thing tearing us apart. He saw the Catholic Church as true. I did not. For a Christian couple who tries their best to follow Jesus, this division is real. It cuts to the heart.
There were a few painful moments when I would scream aloud in my mind I CANNOT DO THIS!!!! I would take the car and go on a long, tear-filled drive. I didn't want to go back home. But when my emotions settled down a bit and I could rationalize, I knew leaving my marriage was not an option. There HAD to be a way through this. An older friend once told me something along the lines of "A marriage can thrive even with significant difficulties." Wow! I thought about that. It can thrive?? I knew this struggle for us would be for the long haul. I would not quit on our marriage. I loved Doug. I wouldn't give up on him. On us. So I concentrated on living it. We CAN thrive. We WILL love and live and be happy. And we did.
Yes, it was difficult. We did our best to navigate things. We went to two churches for years. I went to Doug's confirmation and first Eucharist. I cried when we met the priest. Fortunately the priest was gentle. He understood my sadness. He was a convert himself. An Indian man who came from a Hindu background. He knew the pain it had caused his parents. So he understood my tears and said so.
Oh, one other piece. How was I to move ahead spiritually? Doug didn't understand why I didn't even investigate the Catholic Church. He was hurting too but I didn't have eyes to see that. Only now can I begin to understand his hurt. I knew I couldn't even consider the Catholic Church. It was not on my radar. I never would have even given it a second thought if it weren't for Doug. For years to come my mantra would be along these lines "Just concentrate on Jesus. Read your Bible and pray. Keep your eyes on Jesus. Sit at his feet". That's it. One small thing. Day after day. My mind and emotions just couldn't go there, where Doug was. I couldn't. I can't describe it. It's like my mind and my emotions were filled to bursting. If I even tried to think of Doug's conversion, the Catholic Church, and how this is going to work in our family, I would burst. The seams would rip and I would fall apart. For the time being, I just kept one foot in front of the other. Walking slowly, holding Jesus's hand. And my husband's. Loving him. That was all I could do.
And in the meantime we had job upheaval, premature twin babies, and moves across the country. Life was full and HARD. But we all have seasons like that, right? It waxes and wanes. Rises and falls. We've got to keep steady. Keep our eyes on the goal and never lose hope. "Hope dies last," a Russian told me once.
To be continued. . . soon. . .
Part I here
Part II here
Tuesday, August 18, 2015
My story continued . . . (part II)
The story of my journey of faith that is. . . I mean, what else is there? Right? Is this thing on?
So anyhow, where did I leave off? Yes, Dianna. That beautiful soul, she introduced me to Doug. A couple of times in conversation she would stop mid-conversation and say "You need to meet Doug So-And-So .. ." Um, okay. I would think. Not sure why I NEED to meet some guy but if you say so. She would just explain that we have the same heart; cut from the same block. Hmm. What's that supposed to mean? So one day I was tidying up the Sunday School room where I had finished teaching some little ones. She almost literally dragged me upstairs to introduce me to Doug.
I'll take a brief interlude from my faith journey story to interject a few things. Just for fun. So I was a part of the church's "singles ministry." I was always turned off by this name at churches. Yikes! It sounded like a dating service or something. I almost didn't want to attend for that reason. But its how young, Christian 20-somethings hang out. A circle of friends with common interests. So I went along with it and loved it. I met tons of great friends. Funny thing is, this particular group did in fact, live up to the title as I saw it. Not purposefully. I never got the feeling it was just a dating group to find future spouses. But goodness, I don't even know how many marriages came out of that group. More than a dozen. So anyhow, it happened that although I never intended to join the singles group to meet a guy or get hitched, I did go out on several dates with various guys. I guess it just makes sense. People in their 20's are looking around for a mate. Different guys would ask me out and I would oblige. Most of the time I would think to myself Nope, not this one but would go anyhow and try to keep an open mind. During this time I noticed a couple guys who dressed very nicely. An attractive quality to some but for some reason not me. It didn't feel manly to me. I felt like the woman should be the one with fashion sense and the guy should have more masculine things to think about. So I guess I sort of put that on my list of what-to-look-in-a-husband qualities. hahahah Did God ever hear that silent prayer!!
So when I met Doug that day in church, I was amused. That day Doug was wearing faded blue jeans with huge holes in the knees. He had a linen blazer on over a plain white t-shirt. The first thing I thought of Miami Vice. We awkwardly met and he suggested we get together to talk over refugee ministry sometime. Uh sure, okay.
We did meet to talk about refugee ministry. My paid job was working at a public facility for teaching English to adult immigrants and refugees. (how I LOVED that job!) Doug was moving back into town to work to do refugee ministry. He thought I might be a good addition to the team. Well, we met at Denny's. His favorite place to eat; my least. He drove up in his big pink van and his 80's body builder-type sweatshirt. Ha! This guy cracks me up. As we talked and I observed him, I thought to myself, Nope, not this one either. Never. He's INTENSE. But afterwards he asked me out on a date. As usual, I accepted with my open mind policy. This time it was different, however. Things clicked with this one. I had a lot in common with this intense dude. Dianna was right.
Ironically, our first date was to see the move "Luther." We loved it. Afterwards we went back the building where he lived and did ministry. We played ping pong and talked late into the night. We talked about the big picture in life. I don't know how we got that deep so quickly but I loved it. I craved it. This is what I was looking for in a friend, in a possible spouse. A person who wanted to really talk and ask the big questions. To THINK together. I so tired of surface-level conversation all the time. One of the big themes we talked about that first night was integrity: what it really means to live out what you believe. I think even from that first date, we were matched up. Like the game "Memory." Turn this card over, nope. This card, nope. This card, nope. This one? Yes, yes, yes. It's a match! Anyhow, we had more (a few) dates and a few more Twilight Zone type of experiences that were too uncanny. This is looking like the one.
Anyhow, I guess the "Meet Doug" post is turning into a long one. :) Well, we dated briefly and were engaged briefly. Too brief to be comfortable, honestly. I was a little freaked out about that. AAaahh, the intensity of this man! Thus, begins my life of stepping out in faith. Really . . . stepping out. "And Abraham went out not knowing where he was going." More on that, probably, later.
I suppose the faith walk began much before then but it very much intensified with marriage.
So we got married. . . did refugee ministry together and began our newlywed life.
To be continued . . . soon.
So anyhow, where did I leave off? Yes, Dianna. That beautiful soul, she introduced me to Doug. A couple of times in conversation she would stop mid-conversation and say "You need to meet Doug So-And-So .. ." Um, okay. I would think. Not sure why I NEED to meet some guy but if you say so. She would just explain that we have the same heart; cut from the same block. Hmm. What's that supposed to mean? So one day I was tidying up the Sunday School room where I had finished teaching some little ones. She almost literally dragged me upstairs to introduce me to Doug.
I'll take a brief interlude from my faith journey story to interject a few things. Just for fun. So I was a part of the church's "singles ministry." I was always turned off by this name at churches. Yikes! It sounded like a dating service or something. I almost didn't want to attend for that reason. But its how young, Christian 20-somethings hang out. A circle of friends with common interests. So I went along with it and loved it. I met tons of great friends. Funny thing is, this particular group did in fact, live up to the title as I saw it. Not purposefully. I never got the feeling it was just a dating group to find future spouses. But goodness, I don't even know how many marriages came out of that group. More than a dozen. So anyhow, it happened that although I never intended to join the singles group to meet a guy or get hitched, I did go out on several dates with various guys. I guess it just makes sense. People in their 20's are looking around for a mate. Different guys would ask me out and I would oblige. Most of the time I would think to myself Nope, not this one but would go anyhow and try to keep an open mind. During this time I noticed a couple guys who dressed very nicely. An attractive quality to some but for some reason not me. It didn't feel manly to me. I felt like the woman should be the one with fashion sense and the guy should have more masculine things to think about. So I guess I sort of put that on my list of what-to-look-in-a-husband qualities. hahahah Did God ever hear that silent prayer!!
So when I met Doug that day in church, I was amused. That day Doug was wearing faded blue jeans with huge holes in the knees. He had a linen blazer on over a plain white t-shirt. The first thing I thought of Miami Vice. We awkwardly met and he suggested we get together to talk over refugee ministry sometime. Uh sure, okay.
We did meet to talk about refugee ministry. My paid job was working at a public facility for teaching English to adult immigrants and refugees. (how I LOVED that job!) Doug was moving back into town to work to do refugee ministry. He thought I might be a good addition to the team. Well, we met at Denny's. His favorite place to eat; my least. He drove up in his big pink van and his 80's body builder-type sweatshirt. Ha! This guy cracks me up. As we talked and I observed him, I thought to myself, Nope, not this one either. Never. He's INTENSE. But afterwards he asked me out on a date. As usual, I accepted with my open mind policy. This time it was different, however. Things clicked with this one. I had a lot in common with this intense dude. Dianna was right.
Ironically, our first date was to see the move "Luther." We loved it. Afterwards we went back the building where he lived and did ministry. We played ping pong and talked late into the night. We talked about the big picture in life. I don't know how we got that deep so quickly but I loved it. I craved it. This is what I was looking for in a friend, in a possible spouse. A person who wanted to really talk and ask the big questions. To THINK together. I so tired of surface-level conversation all the time. One of the big themes we talked about that first night was integrity: what it really means to live out what you believe. I think even from that first date, we were matched up. Like the game "Memory." Turn this card over, nope. This card, nope. This card, nope. This one? Yes, yes, yes. It's a match! Anyhow, we had more (a few) dates and a few more Twilight Zone type of experiences that were too uncanny. This is looking like the one.
Anyhow, I guess the "Meet Doug" post is turning into a long one. :) Well, we dated briefly and were engaged briefly. Too brief to be comfortable, honestly. I was a little freaked out about that. AAaahh, the intensity of this man! Thus, begins my life of stepping out in faith. Really . . . stepping out. "And Abraham went out not knowing where he was going." More on that, probably, later.
I suppose the faith walk began much before then but it very much intensified with marriage.
So we got married. . . did refugee ministry together and began our newlywed life.
To be continued . . . soon.
Monday, August 17, 2015
My story
Greetings on this August Monday!
How you are all? Winding down your summer?
It's been HOT here. Phew! And we've been sick. So we haven't been off to the lake to cool off or anything. Just laying around in our air conditioning.
I thought I'd begin telling the story of my spiritual journey. I won't have the time to plan it out or anything, so this will just be off the cuff. Being sick today, it probably won't eloquent or anything as well. It's not terribly exciting in comparison to many other stories out there but its mine. Every person has a story to tell, so I give you mine. It is what it is. hahah. Now how's that for an intro?
As an aside, I know there is an ache in the human heart to know and to be known. This is the offering of my story. Of being known. The flip side is just as important. To know. Lives are made to touch, to intersect. So be brave. Tell yours as well. We all grow by listening and speaking. I would treasure the gift of your story as well.
Alrighty . . . here goes.
I grew up in a Baptist family in Alaska. My parents moved there initially to be missionaries. Church planters in The Last Frontier. :) How lucky am I? Raised in Alaska! My father died when I was two years old of diabetic complications, so unfortunately I remember nothing of him. I just hang onto any stories of him or my family before the big move to Alaska. But I imagine if my father moved his family to Alaska for Jesus, he must have been a courageous man. I love that.
So my mother was mostly the spiritual leader for our family for much of my childhood. If I could describe the faith of my mom and the church family I were I grew up, it would be faithful. Life hasn't handed my mom the easiest of circumstances but she has held firm and constant. From what I can see, she is a faithful servant who refuses to let go of living a life true to our Lord. I appreciate that in her. I also appreciate the faith community of my childhood into the young adult years. Again, they are a good, faithful group of people. Family. I have wonderful memories of Sunday School, AWANAS (Scripture memory, games,etc), Vacation Bible School, summer camp, etc. I learned my way around the Bible and learned to love Scripture. Those memorized verses are treasures. Even the Sunday School songs are treasures to me: I sing them to my kids when I tuck them into bed at night.
One thing didn't set quite right with me when I became a teenager though. It only made sense to me that we would share life with other Christians. That our little church family in one small town would extend our family in Christ beyond our four walls. Yes, we would get together with churches that has the same affiliation as ours but not to other churches with a different titles. The differences were to great, I suppose. That was frustrating to me as a teenager. I couldn't put my finger on it but it didn't feel right. I felt the world must be so much bigger than that.
So when I graduated from high school, I decided to go out on my own into the world. I would hold on to my faith but I knew the faith didn't stop beyond our small Baptist affiliation. At the same time, I knew I must be cautious. I must hold tightly and faithfully the teachings of Jesus. I was aware that there were many who called themselves Christians but who weren't faithful. They colored Christianity in whatever light that fit their fancy. I probably would have lumped Catholics into this category.
College was everything I had hoped for. I loved getting out on my own and trying out my fledgling wings. I never did figure out what I wanted to be when I grew up but that's another story. :) I went to a non-denominational Christian college, so we were required to take a certain amount of Bible and related classes. Old and New Testament, Intro to philosophy and theology, etc. I enjoyed those along with biweekly chapel, Bible studies, prayer groups, long talks into the night with new friends. I went with roommates trying out various churches. Life was good.
After college I moved to Minnesota and lived with my sister's family for a year. I continued going to whatever Bible studies I would find. After a year, I moved out on my own and found my new church family in my new city. It continued to be a growing, fruitful time for me. Young adulthood is an exciting time in life, isn't it? I loved my new church. I was very involved with the singles ministry and serving in various capacities in the church. I asked a woman there to be my mentor. She was fabulous. I was a bit of a thinker who really wanted to ask some big questions. I craved a safe place to really dig in with some honesty. Dianna. She was perfect for me. A real person who would delve right in with me and just lay it all out there. Off and I would struggle with doubt. How do I know Christianity is real? I wanted to tackle this and Dianna was an awesome woman to walk alongside.
And Dianna . . . she was the one to introduce me to my future husband. She swears she didn't mean to play matchmaker. She says that had to introduce us because we had the same heart. I believe her. She was right, we do.
To be continued soon ....
How you are all? Winding down your summer?
It's been HOT here. Phew! And we've been sick. So we haven't been off to the lake to cool off or anything. Just laying around in our air conditioning.
I thought I'd begin telling the story of my spiritual journey. I won't have the time to plan it out or anything, so this will just be off the cuff. Being sick today, it probably won't eloquent or anything as well. It's not terribly exciting in comparison to many other stories out there but its mine. Every person has a story to tell, so I give you mine. It is what it is. hahah. Now how's that for an intro?
As an aside, I know there is an ache in the human heart to know and to be known. This is the offering of my story. Of being known. The flip side is just as important. To know. Lives are made to touch, to intersect. So be brave. Tell yours as well. We all grow by listening and speaking. I would treasure the gift of your story as well.
Alrighty . . . here goes.
I grew up in a Baptist family in Alaska. My parents moved there initially to be missionaries. Church planters in The Last Frontier. :) How lucky am I? Raised in Alaska! My father died when I was two years old of diabetic complications, so unfortunately I remember nothing of him. I just hang onto any stories of him or my family before the big move to Alaska. But I imagine if my father moved his family to Alaska for Jesus, he must have been a courageous man. I love that.
So my mother was mostly the spiritual leader for our family for much of my childhood. If I could describe the faith of my mom and the church family I were I grew up, it would be faithful. Life hasn't handed my mom the easiest of circumstances but she has held firm and constant. From what I can see, she is a faithful servant who refuses to let go of living a life true to our Lord. I appreciate that in her. I also appreciate the faith community of my childhood into the young adult years. Again, they are a good, faithful group of people. Family. I have wonderful memories of Sunday School, AWANAS (Scripture memory, games,etc), Vacation Bible School, summer camp, etc. I learned my way around the Bible and learned to love Scripture. Those memorized verses are treasures. Even the Sunday School songs are treasures to me: I sing them to my kids when I tuck them into bed at night.
One thing didn't set quite right with me when I became a teenager though. It only made sense to me that we would share life with other Christians. That our little church family in one small town would extend our family in Christ beyond our four walls. Yes, we would get together with churches that has the same affiliation as ours but not to other churches with a different titles. The differences were to great, I suppose. That was frustrating to me as a teenager. I couldn't put my finger on it but it didn't feel right. I felt the world must be so much bigger than that.
So when I graduated from high school, I decided to go out on my own into the world. I would hold on to my faith but I knew the faith didn't stop beyond our small Baptist affiliation. At the same time, I knew I must be cautious. I must hold tightly and faithfully the teachings of Jesus. I was aware that there were many who called themselves Christians but who weren't faithful. They colored Christianity in whatever light that fit their fancy. I probably would have lumped Catholics into this category.
College was everything I had hoped for. I loved getting out on my own and trying out my fledgling wings. I never did figure out what I wanted to be when I grew up but that's another story. :) I went to a non-denominational Christian college, so we were required to take a certain amount of Bible and related classes. Old and New Testament, Intro to philosophy and theology, etc. I enjoyed those along with biweekly chapel, Bible studies, prayer groups, long talks into the night with new friends. I went with roommates trying out various churches. Life was good.
After college I moved to Minnesota and lived with my sister's family for a year. I continued going to whatever Bible studies I would find. After a year, I moved out on my own and found my new church family in my new city. It continued to be a growing, fruitful time for me. Young adulthood is an exciting time in life, isn't it? I loved my new church. I was very involved with the singles ministry and serving in various capacities in the church. I asked a woman there to be my mentor. She was fabulous. I was a bit of a thinker who really wanted to ask some big questions. I craved a safe place to really dig in with some honesty. Dianna. She was perfect for me. A real person who would delve right in with me and just lay it all out there. Off and I would struggle with doubt. How do I know Christianity is real? I wanted to tackle this and Dianna was an awesome woman to walk alongside.
And Dianna . . . she was the one to introduce me to my future husband. She swears she didn't mean to play matchmaker. She says that had to introduce us because we had the same heart. I believe her. She was right, we do.
To be continued soon ....
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