Saturday before Palm Sunday

Today's Gospel reading:   John 11:45-56


"Many of the Jews who had come to Mary and seen what Jesus had done began to believe in him. But some of them went to the Pharisees and told them what Jesus had done. So the chief priests and the Pharisees convened the Sanhedrin and said, "What are we going to do? This man is performing many signs. If we leave him alone, all will believe in him, and the Romans will come and take away both our land and our nation." But one of them, Caiaphas, who was high priest that year, said to them, "You know nothing, nor do you consider that it is better for you that one man should die instead of the people, sot hat the whole nation may not perish." He did not say this on his own, but since he was high priest that year, he prophesied that Jesus was going to die for the nation, and not only for the nation , but also to gather into one the dispersed children of God. So from that day on they planned to kill him.
     So Jesus no longer walked about in public among the Jews, but he left for the region near the desert, to a town called Ephraim, and there he remained with his disciples.  (boldface mine)
        Now the Passover of the Jews was near, and many went up from the country to Jerusalem before Passover to purify themselves. They looked for Jesus and said to one another as they were in the temple area, "What do you think? That he will not come to the feast?"


 Meditation related to this passage I read this morning:

     "The simple truth is that the human soul can flourish spiritually only be cultivating a contemplative quality. A commitment to some external quiet in a day is therefore essential. The amount of time may be a personal choice, but the need is undeniable.
       There may be people who consider this need for silence an eccentric or unnatural impulse. Indeed, it is a regrettable feature of modern life and its technological dependencies that for many people a choice for silence can be completely absent in a typical day. Yet is is only silence that replenishes our inner spirit and keeps a deeper layer of soul in us open to truth.
       The reason for this is quickly experience. The presence of some silence in our day has the effect of drawing us to a more generous attentiveness. Silence does not just make us listen better. Its greater impact is on the quality of our eyes. A more selfless act of attention permeates our perception of reality as we live a day. Perhaps we are attracted then to a silence that resides at the hart of all reality and all events.
       Noise and turmoil may be inescapable, but the surface turbulence is not everything, and a love for silence conveys a deeper truth. It allows us to sense that God is present with his secret gaze upon all that occurs in every day."


May we all cultivate silence as prepare to enter Holy Week.  In silence we better see and hear Jesus.
(Pray that I might!)

Some tools we are excited to use this Holy Week and Easter!

Read through some of it last night and did some acting. 

Imitation of Christ: Thomas a Kempis

Have you read The Imitation of Christ? If you are like me, you probably have read snippets of it years ago. That's easy to do because his book is really just a collection of short(ish) reflections. It is a quite  manageable resource for brief meditation sessions. I picked up a copy of this to read one night when Doug and I stayed at Durward's Glen retreat center. I was so touched, I decided I needed my own copy. I've been pairing (or alternating) the Imitation with the daily readings in the Magnificat this summer and fall but our Magnificat subscription just ran out, so my thought is stick with mostly the Imitation until Advent or whenever I finish it and then go back to the Magnificat. Anyhow, all that to say that The Imitation of Christ has impacted me greatly this year. There are so many lessons that my heart is pondering (when I make space for that). So much of it is lofty. They are quite high ideals. But if one never looks at the goal, how will he begin in that direction? I'd like to share today's selection. It is exactly this sort of reflection that inspires me to look at my own life and slowly make improvements through God's grace. I hope you find it hits home for you as well.

How Good It Is for a Man to be Peaceful

First put yourself at peace, and then you may the better make others be at peace. A peaceful and patient man is of more profit to himself and to others, too, than a learned man who has no peace. A man who is passionate often turns good into evil, and easily believes the worst. But a good, peaceful man turns all things to the best, and suspects no man.

     He who is not content is often troubled with many suspicions, and is neither quiet himself nor allows others to be quiet. He often speaks what he should not, and fails to speak what it would be more expedient to say. He considers seriously what others are bound to do, but he grandly neglects that to which he himself is bound.

     First, therefore, have a zealous regard to yourself and to your own soul, and then you many more righteously and with better ordered charity have zeal for your neighbor's soul. You are at once ready to excuse your own defects, but you will not hear the excuses of your brethren. Truly, it would be more charitable and more profitable to you to accuse yourself and excuse your brother, for, if you will be borne, bear with others. Consider how far you yet are from the perfect humility and charity of Christian people, who cannot be angry with any except themselves.

     It is no great thing to get on well with good and docile men, for that is naturally pleasant to all people, and all men gladly have peace with those and most love those who are agreeable. But to live peacefully with evil men and with impertinent men who lack good manners and are illiterate and rub us the wrong way- that is a great grace, and a manly deed, and much to be praised, for it cannot  be done save through great spiritual strength. Some people can be quiet themselves, and live quietly with others, and some cannot be quiet themselves, not permit others to be quiet; they are grievous to others-they are more grievous to themselves. And some can keep themselves in good peace, and can also bring others to live in peace. Nevertheless, all our peace, while we are int his mortal life, rests more in the humble endurance of troubles and of things that are irksome to us than in not feeling them at all. For no man is here without some trouble. Therefore, he who can suffer best will have most peace, and he who is the true conquerer of himself is the true lord of the world, the friend of Christ, and the true inheritor of the kingdom of heaven. 

-Thomas a Kempis

One's death makes another look at life.

Good morning friends and family,

Well, I really should get started on today's to-do list but I'm going to bump those down in priority to after I say 'hello' here. I feel the need to think and write for just a brief moment. And share.

My best friend from my childhood lost her best friend, her husband, to cancer last night. Another young parent gone. Maybe as you get older, this is a normal part of life. It doesn't feel normal. Is it? Parents with young children dying? Tell me.

Here's the list of amazing families in my immediate circle who have lost a young parent:

Jason Young. Husband to my dear college friend, Joy. Parent of a four month old.

Kevin Donnelly. I didn't know him but I am an acquaintance of his wife, Catherine. Catherine has deeply touched my life in how she continues to live and love. Five children, one born a few months after the death of her husband.

Paul Coakley. Friend from here in Wisconsin. Ann, a mom friend. Four children, one born a few months after Paul's death.

Tracie Morrison. A dear friend of Doug's from camp. Six children and an awesome husband.

Rob Yale: husband of my dear childhood friend, Melissa. Two small children.

Why am I telling you about these people? Because I find it interesting that each of these people impacted the world in amazingly beautiful ways. They stood out. I don't quite get it. Why these people in particular? I think maybe it is to wake the rest of us up. I know it works for me. Their absence speaks as loudly as their presence

Each of these people were dynamic people who lived life to the fullest. I didn't know Kevin Donnelly but I watch how his wife lives her life and this is what she does. These people were passionate.  Every single one of them were talented, gifted people. They shone in this world but not just becuase of their talents. They shared that talent by loving people. They loved Jesus and you could see the love pumping through their veins.

I feel a little selfish now as I have before that immediately following a death in that I look at my own life. I think much about the life of the person and pray hard for the loved ones left behind but I also spend a good deal of time looking at my own life. I am tempted to feel badly that I'm self-absorbed and selfish but you know, I think that is what each of these people would want. They would want to have lived and died in such a way that others are brought to a place where they consider the brevity of their own existance and make changes where necessary.

Anyhow two quotes are coming to my heart today and making an imprint on my mind. . . I don't have the time to look the words up for the exact quote but here's the gist of each.

St. Catherine of Siena: Be who God made you to be and you will set the world afire.

St. Therese of Liseux: Make life simple. Find out who God made you to be and become that person.

So that's where I am. How am I living my life? Am I living life to the fullest? Am I living how God meant me to?  Who does God want me to be?  Do I really understand Jesus' love for me? Do I share that love with others?

These are my prayers but also I am going back to a recent prayer. The last couple months I have felt a strong burden to pray for greater charity (love).  A stronger, deeper love for God and for others. So if you  are taking prayer requests. . . that's mine. For growth of the virtue of charity in my life. Thanks.

What is your prayer today? Do share and I will pray with you.  Hugs to you all!!

***If you want to support Melissa and the kids, you can support their small business. Melissa is selling single-bud headphones on amazon. Her company is called "Sharktooth."  Here's the original blog post with the information. 

Clarification

Hi loved ones,

I was just out in the kitchen cooking breakfast and thinking, then decided to get on the computer to write ya'll a quick note.

One of my faults is caring what others think of me.  I'd call this "fear of man." A sin, I believe. A weakness of the human condition. It's something I try to work on. I think it stems from the major sin of pride, probably the most common and troublesome problem in human character. Other times, I think, caring about what others think can be a neutral or maybe even positive thing and maybe more along the lines of striving for peace in relationships. In this case, I'm not exactly sure where I'm at. Perhaps, I'll think on it more later and find I'm wrong yet again on this one.

But for now, I'll put this up there in case it is a good note to share. If not, maybe I'll take it down. So yesterday, I said a few sentences in reference to the recent election in our country. I shared that I was "giving thanks." I was and still am. But I want to clarify something. I was never a Trump supporter. I was  a #NEVERTRUMP person. I was sorta of a "anybody but Trump" voter. Anybody but Trump or Hillary Clinton or Bernie Sanders that is. . .  I can think of a number of candidates that I would have been happy to support. But Trump was nominated. Ouch. I seriously looked at third party candidates. I couldn't go with Johnson. I checked out a few others and thought it about it for a while. Even up to a few weeks before the election, I felt quite uneasy with filling in the oval beside "Trump."

Anyhow, I know most of us are sick to death about beating this dead horse. We've had enough of politics for a long while. But the thing is, we live here. We can't ignore it. This is our country; it needs constant care. Constant. So yeah, I am thankful for the outcome on Tuesday. I can't say I voted in pride for Donald Trump; that felt surreal. "I can't believe this is happening." This time around I voted against something. I voted against Hillary Clinton. I voted against the suppression of religious liberty. I'm all for having additional parties thriving in this country but for me, the time was not THIS election cycle. I agree with Ben Carson, we were about to go over a cliff. Yes, I believe that. I believe religious liberty was at stake (and still very well could be) and very well could have been be felt in my own life. Not that religious persecution is the end of it all. Many Christians as I write this are suffering from REAL persecution.  Much more extreme than I will ever understand. They are being tortured and killed for gracious sakes! But I am not a saint, I'm not in that place where I desire martyrdom.  If religious liberty is within my grasp, I will strive for that. For myself and my children.

I know there was more at stake in this election but religious liberty and the possibility of moving toward abolishing abortion (the killing of unborn children) were huge in my mind. Yes, I know those are not big issues for Donald Trump. Those are not his priorities. But frankly, I was willing to risk it with the Donald. I knew what direction Hillary would take us. I know very well what she believes about the rights of unborn children. They have none.

So yes, I'm praying prayers of thanksgiving. Not because I think Donald Trump is man of character but because I believe we just adverted a major disaster. No, I don't agree with him on MANY things. Our country is not in a peachy place and I don't believe he is even close to the leader that we really need. But he's what we've got and it could be worse. It could. So yes, I'm supporting Trump. I'm supporting him because he is now our president-elect. I will pray for him as a person. I will pray for a desire to to become a better man. In our home we like to think of Thomas a Becket. He was not a man of solid character before King Henry II appointed him Archbishop of Canterbury. Becket rose to the challenge. He took the honor seriously and changed his life. He even died for his outspokenness (not that Henry II was pleased at his death). So we pray for the same for Donald Trump. We pray that he will rise to the occasion. We pray that he will surround himself with excellent men and women to lead this country.

On another note. I listened to Hillary Clinton's concession speech. I can understand that she really believes in what she is doing. I can empathize with that. At least a little. But here's the one thing I absolutely cannot agree with. It seems like she feels that this election was a loss for women. I wholeheartedly disagree. It was not a loss for women. Many of us didn't vote against Hillary because she is a woman. That has nothing to do with it. I'd vote for Carly Fiorina in a heartbeat. We simply didn't vote for Hillary because of who she is as a person, her past record, and mostly importantly because of the cause she champions.

Well . . ..  that was long.  Didn't mean to do that. Yikes. Late for breakfast. Whoops.

Some words on joy (not mine)

"No man can live without joy" is what Thomas Aquinas wrote. And I confess, it is true, I have known many dead waiting to die . . .

While I may not always feel joy, God asks me to give thanks in all things because he knows that the feeling of joy begins in the action of thanksgiving.

I know it well after a day smattered with  rowdiness and worn a bit ragged with bickering. Joy doesn't negate all other emotions - joy transcends all other emotions.

Only self can kill joy.

I'm the one doing this to me. The demanding of my own will is the singular force that smothers out joy - nothing else. Dare I ask what I think I deserve? A life with no discomfort, no inconveniencecs? What do I really deserve? . . .

My own wild desire to protect my joy at all costs is the exact force that kills my joy . . .

"No one who ever said to God, Thy will be done, and meant it with his heart, ever failed to find joy - not just in heaven, or even down the road in the future in this world, but in the world at that very moment," asserts Peter Kreeft. "Every other Christian who has ever lived has found exactly the same thing in his own experience. It is an experiment that has been performed over and over again billions of times, always with the same result . . . ."

And I hear it soft too, what all his life speaks: Joy is in the acquiescing.

-Ann Voskamp

Lasting Joy

"If we let Christ into our lives, we lose nothing, nothing, absolutely nothing of what makes life free, beautiful, and great. No! Only in this friendship are the doors of life opened wide." 

~Pope Benedict XVI

We have all we need {on silence}

This piece spoke to  me today. I type it here to share with you but also to imprint it on my heart and mind. 



"There are some people whom God takes and sets apart.

There are others he leaves among the crowds, people he does no "withdraw from the world."

These are the people who have an ordinary job, an ordinary household, or an ordinary celibacy. People with ordinary sicknesses, and ordinary times of grieving. People with an ordinary house, and ordinary clothes. These are the people of ordinary life. The people we might meet on the street.

The love the door that opens onto the street, just as their brothers who are hidden from the world love the door that shuts behind them forever.

We, the ordinary people of the streets, believe with all our might that this street, this world, where God has placed us, is our place of holiness.

We believe that we lack nothing here that we need. If we needed something else, God would already have given it to us.

We do not need to find silence; we already have it. The day we lack silence is the day we have not learned how to keep it.

All the noises around us cause much less disturbance than we ourselves do.

The real noise is the echo things make within us. It is not necessarily talking that breaks the silence. Silence is the place whee the Word of God dwells; if we limit ourselves to repeating this word, then we can speak without ceasing to be silent.

Monasteries appear to be the place of praise and the place of silence that praise requires.

In the street, crushed by the crowd, we make our souls into so many caves of silence wherein the Word of God can dwell and resound.

In those crowds marked by the sins of hatred, lust, and drunkenness, we find a desert of silence, and we recollect ourselves here with great ease, so that God can ring out his name: Vox clamans in deserto."

-Servant of God Madeleine Delbrel

What the Rich Young Man Discovered

A reflection based on today's reading: Mark 10:17-27.  (from Magnificat)

"God, getting closer to man, weakens him.  He does just the opposite of what we would expect.  You may believe that it is you who are approaching him, and that, under those conditions, you should become increasingly stronger and increasingly more able to get along by yourself.  However, it is he who is coming closer to you, and his approach makes you weaker - physically, mentally, or spiritually.

He does this in order to dwell in you with his might, since it is your weakness that makes room for his might. When you are weak, you cannot trust in yourself you cannot believe in yourself; and then the opportunity comes for you to turn to him and to desire to rely on him.  So often you shield yourself against this greatest grace, the grace of weakness, but Saint Paul has already written, For power is made perfect in weakness. I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me . . for when I am weak, then I am strong (II Cor. 12:9-10).

Your own power and strength must collapse sooner or later.  Strictly speaking, there is nothing you can call exclusively your own strength. Any kind of strength is a gift - a gift that you usually claim as your own, and that is why it must be taken from you."

-Father Tadeusz Dajczer




A completely unrelated picture:

Sage following a drawing tutorial on Art for Kids Hub and Mace joining big brother in his own way. 

Consider It?

I've got a challenge for you:  Observe Lent this year.

Huh? Why? Waste of time?  I've got other things to do.  Trying to make me Catholic?

No, I promise you.  I'm not.  Just try it!  It's a good use of your time. I promise.

Not a Catholic? Not a liturgical Christian? Not a Christian? Not even sure you believe in God?

So here's my pitch:


I've had the opportunity to get out cross country skiing twice lately. I hope I can do more! I love the strength of body that such exercise promises. It brings me back a bit to my competitive running and skiing days. Yesterday I was thinking of how training for these sports relates to Lent. Training hones the body for competition, observing Lent well hones the soul for life. In training for endurance sports you have different types of workouts. You'd have long runs for building endurance, strength training workouts, sprint workouts for speed. But then there is "interval training."

Basically interval training is where you run/ski/bike/swim (whatever your sport) for very hard for a shorter period of time. You would do a number of these intense bursts spaced out by various lengths of rests. I hated interval days. Bleh. Sometimes it felt like I was going to die right then, especially if the intervals were long in duration with a short break. It sucked. But you know you will be a better runner or skier or athlete in general because of it. It's about going to the next level. Long runs are important. Honing skills are important. Sprint days are important. Heck, rest days play a very important part. But it is those interval training days that will really help one jump up a level.

So I'm challenging you. You! Whoever you are. Join me for a workout! A spiritual workout. Let's observe it together. I won't lie; it is intense and tiring. It's REALLY long. Believe me, 40 days when you are living intensely is long. By day 25 or 30, it is so easy to fizzle out. But let's live, live intensely for a bit. What do you have to lose? Even if you think you are not a "spiritual" person, give it a try. Try your own spin on it. There are many ways to grow. There is such a wide spectrum of personal growth. Ours will all look different.

"To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to pluck, and time to pluck up that which is planted... A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance..."  Ecclesiastes 3

All Christians observe (and celebrate!) the glorious event of Easter! We remember our Lord and celebrate His victory over sin and death.  We celebrate His birth and His resurrection. Great! But in deciding to live the Christian life we don't just embrace the cozy, feel-good parts right? Jesus told us "Take up your cross and follow me?"  Take up your cross. Does it sound like he's advocating us to walk merely walk through the joyous seasons of Christmas and Easter? It sounds to me like he wants us to walk everywhere he goes. Ack!

So Lent. A penitential season. A time to mourn, a time to weep. In following Jesus we follow Him into the desert for 40 days. That time right before his ministry was purposeful for His ministry. A time of testing. We have our time of testing, which is also a time of building but often we cannot recognize it.  Oftentimes we don't choose our testing times but for Lent, we choose purposefully to undertake this testing (or spiritual training). He has a purpose for us out there in that desert.

This is the time for interval training!  This could be the season, the time, to take you to the next level. Take some time to think things through.  Honestly, I need to do some more of this myself. I've come up with some specific practices for us as a family but I need to do some soul-searching personally. No worries that tomorrow is Lent already (or today depending on when you read this). I don't think you need to have a plan by tomorrow morning.  Ease into it. Take a couple days or a week even to look at your life and come up with a plan.

There are lots of direction you could go. Do you struggle with sadness, anxiety, anger, jealousy? Do you wish you were more grateful, kind, gentle, patient?  Find those weak places. Are you not moderate or balanced in some way? Do you eat too much?  Avoid exercise? Is your mind stagnant, distracted, busy? Do you have a hard time slowing down or are you lazy and sluggish?  Do you suspect there may be a God but avoid even the thought of spiritual things?

I'm not speaking to anyone in particular. Just all of us. Humanity. Myself. Seriously, not one of us can claim to have it all together. I really believe that strength comes in humility. Popular culture tells us that it is all in the building up of side. Self-confidence. But I believe it is the opposite. When you are weak, then you are strong. But I suppose popular culture recoils from this way because it leaves room for God. If there is a God, then I am not strong. There is someone greater than me. Someone I have to answer to and frankly, I don't like that.

But try this way for once. Don't be afraid of your weakness. And when I say weakness, understand I mean sin. Ack! Let's not go there!  Why would I want to wallow in my sin? Let's focus on my strengths, we want to say.

But look at it this way. Everyone can agree on this part. How can we improve as people if we do not know our weaknesses? Yes, we can capitalize on our strengths but even better to loose the grip of weakness (sin) in our lives. Think about it in terms of a house. Sure you can improve the value of your house by remodeling the kitchen.  But who cares about your remodeled kitchen if the foundation is weak? A flood or earthquake might come and wipe that all away!  Strength comes in knowing your weaknesses.

So NOW is the season for working on our weak spots. If you are a Christian, specifically look at sin in your life. It may not be obvious right away.  So it might be helpful to look at the struggles in your day to day life.  What is the trigger point for a real lack of peace? What sin or weakness might be at root of your struggle? What is the opposite virtue for that weakness? For every weakness or sin problem there is an opposite virtue/character trait. Take a temptation/distraction out of your life for 40 days and then add something positive back in.  Spend the first week of your Lent thinking about your own life.  Find some good websites that discuss vices/root sins and also virtues to cultivate. This is often called "spiritual direction."

So let's say you find out what your main weakness/sin is and what virtues counteract them. You might spend your Lent reading up on the topic, praying everyday about making progress in this area of virtue, and then have something concrete to work on everyday.  It will help us greatly to take out distractions for these 40 days to better focus on the spiritual task at hand. These days technology can be a great distraction.  We may not become real hermits but we can become semi-hermits for just over a month. I'll be taking out Facebook. Maybe you might take out television totally or maybe no television in the evenings or no television on Tuesdays or Thursdays. Then add something back in. Perhaps the screen has dulled your mind and you are taking it out of your life for a time. Then pick up an intellectual or spiritual pursuit for this month.  Read instead of watching television.  Read some spiritual or intellectual classic. What an accomplishment if you read "Crime and Punishment" this Lent or read up on the life of Billy Graham or Thomas Aquinas!  Find a list of classics and choose one.

There is so much to do! So many, many ways to grow! Let's not any of us say "But I don't have time!" Let's make time! Let's use our drive to work to pray or listen to a great talk on CD. Let's read a new book or understand our greatest weakness better. It's going to be long and hard but this tough interval will make us all the better. Let's give God more of us so that we can begin to become the best version of ourselves.

I challenge you to embrace your cross this season. Embrace the suffering. Learn about redemptive suffering. Even if your suffering/cross is small compared to others, embrace it and understand what makes it yours. Why this particular cross?
 Pray for me as I attempt to take up this challenge. I need your prayers. If you feel inclined, call me and let's help each other walk on. Then when the sunlight of Easter breaks in again, may we rise up out of the ashes and rejoice in His victory. Let's follow Him. Let's accompany him in the garden of Gethsemane, being crowned with thorns, shamed in nakedness, dragging a cross uphill, the pain of the nails, and then after our mere trials, maybe we'll begin understand Easter on a whole other level.

Couple of ideas:

google "list of things to do for Lent"
google "things to do for year of mercy"
google the blog called "First Things" and "Lent"  (First Things is an ecumenical site, I believe.)

"Repent, and believe in the Gospel"

"Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return."   

Psalm 51

Have mercy on me, O God, in your goodness;

in the greatness of your compassion wipe out my offense.

Thoroughly wash me from my guilt

and of my sin cleanse me.

For I acknowledge my offense,

and my sin is before me always:

"Against you only have I sinned, 

and done what is evil in your sight."

A clean heart create for me, O God,

and a steadfast spirit renew within me.

Cast me not out from your presence, 

and your Holy Spirit take not from me.

Give me back the joy of your salvation,

and a willing spirit sustain in me.

O Lord, open my lips,

and my mouth shall proclaim your praise.

  





     

Another Thursday Hello (ahhh autumn color!)

I told Doug on the way to the park last night that it seems like we always mourn the end of summer at least a little bit but that God must have created autumn to ease that transition. What a beautiful end of a season! It really does help ease us into winter, I think.  

And later on I thought more about it and shared with the kids. Autumn is like the end of a life well-lived. Just like autumn is a beautiful end of a season filled with life, one's final days can also be such a burst of beauty at the end of a life lived well. I hope I live my life in such a way that I may bring a warmth of beauty to those around me in those final days. One day at a time.  

Anyway, we are treasuring each hour of this season as much as possible. This week has been incredible! So refreshing and healing for the soul.

A few pics from our lunchtime break. 

Morning Meditation

The kids and I read through the Sermon on the Mount this morning. Just now, in fact. I thought I'd type it out here for you real quickly, just to pass along the peace we enjoyed this morning. It was so neat to talk through each beatitude with the kids. They had such insightful things to say about many of them. Jesus sure is counter-cultural, isn't He? No wonder he continues to ruffles feathers across the ages.  I can easily see how I can practice every single one of these personally every. single. day. They are certainly as relevant today as they were two thousand years ago. Following Christ sure is about delayed gratification isn't it? I mean, really.  "Blessed are you when people revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven . . . "  Certainly counter-cultural.

The kids and I each chose a beatitude to work on today. Basil and Nutmeg chose to work on being peacemakers. Sage and I are choosing to work on being merciful. Maybe we should read this every day. :)


"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.

Blessed are the merciful, for they will receive mercy.

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.

Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 

Blessed are you when people revile you and persecute  you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you."

Matthew 5:3-12

Short hello

Wow. Tomorrow is Friday. These weeks just seem to fly by. It's time to get my grocery list for Friday night shopping and I feel like I JUST unloaded all the groceries. The fridge is bare and its time to go gathering again already. Incredible.

Well, its been a heavy couple of weeks. I've been checking Facebook at least 50 times a day it seems, waiting to see how our friend Paul is doing. Paul passed away Tuesday morning. Devastating. Young, strong guy with a lively shining wife in her last trimester of pregnancy. Two energetic boys and one adorable girl. An old farmhouse that had been brought down to the studs, just waiting to be built back up. Gone. In one month. Life is so fragile. Our plans, nothing.

So we are hurting. Hurting for Ann and the children. I wish I bring Paul back and put their life back together. But I truly believe Paul is in heaven. He's a happy man. It's Ann who has a long road ahead. I know she'll eventually be okay. Ann is a strong woman. Funny thing. I personally know three young widows. Each one was either pregnant when her husband passed away or had a newborn. But its funny, each of those three woman are remarkable women. Always have been. I know Ann will be okay but I still hurt for her. I know she is bearing unimaginable pain and will for every moment of the day for a very long time.

Oh, to have the magic wand that would take away the pain of another. But . . . there is prayer. Someone told me the other day that prayer is the closest you can get to another person. That is comforting. Ann may be miles away. I can't "fix" anything but I can touch her life in prayer. I can keep watch an hour and touch her life in an intimate way. And maybe just maybe the results of so many prayers by so many people (and she does have an army of prayer warriors behind her), can help turn something awful as death and loss into something beautiful. I know Ann has a life of meaningful beauty ahead of her. She is a beautiful person and I know she'll follow the path the Lord has for her. It will be painful but I have no doubt it will be one of redemptive beauty.

Anyhow, such happenings force personal reflection. How am I living my life? Am I living a life of gratitude? Am I seeing everything in life as a gift? The good and the bad? Am I loving my children and husband to my utmost capacity? If I suffer, how do I suffer? Do I bear it joyfully?

I had intended to do another homeschooling post but I suppose that will have to wait until another day. I've written enough already. I'll meet up with ya'll again sometime soon.

But first for a few pics, right? ;)  I know that's why you are REALLY here. ;)

The kids and I got outside the other day for a little fun in the snow. Mace loved it! He kept trying to crawl out of the sled but I couldn't let him because his little feet would get too cold. Soon little man, soon!! I have some rockin' little toddler boots coming in the mail! I can't wait. He'll be able to walk/run all around in the snow as much as he likes. Finally, I believe, on the fourth kid I have discovered an excellent boot for toddlers that won't fall off! I'm stoked. I just know they'll work.

An apocalyptic evening

 For a minute last night I wondered if it was the Apocalypse. Yeah, laugh if you want. But seriously, if you are a God-fearing Christian you believe the end of the world will indeed come some time or another. I do think it is a good practice to think in those terms when possible. In the busyness of  life it is so easy to not have an eternal perspective, right? It is good to ask ourselves "Am I ready to meet Jesus?"

Makes me think of that song "People get ready, Jesus is coming" by Crystal Lewis.

Last night I was a bit doubtful if I was ready to meet Jesus. Phew, I was a grumpy mama. My patience and endurance is being tested with this certification my hubby is working on. I keep having to tell myself it is a great opportunity for him. Love puts the other first. Love seeks the best for another. Encourages the personal growth of another. Love isn't a feeling. It's a choice.

Anyhow, I was so tired last night. Cooking dinner, cleaning up, putting the kids to bed. Tired mama. But at the same time, surreal things were happening outside.

All afternoon the kids and I heard thunder from the distance. The sky was gradually growing darker for hours.  The air was heavy with humidity. I kept wondering when the rain would come. Doug got home and started working on his paper. I began dinner prep and the rain commenced. I ran out to the garden to fetch basil in the rain, dodging puddles in the pumpkin patch. Dinner was made, eaten, and cleaned up with the rain coming down outside and occasional flashes of lightening. We ate in the artificial light of our indoor lighting because it was dark outside. I kinda had fun with it all because I mostly enjoy these midwest storms. It is fun to hear the thunder, see the lightening, and then to feel all snug and safe inside. It makes me feel thankful for the roof over our heads.

Anyhow, it was interesting to watch the outdoor show but at the same time energy was quickly waning. By the time jammie time and tooth brushing came, I was dangerously near grumpy mama mood. As I was helping Nutmeg finish her nightly duties, I couldn't help but notice light from outside. Light coming from all the windows. Vastly different from the darkness of earlier. There was a strange light from all parts of the sky and bright it was. Almost eerie. Even in my tired grumpiness, I couldn't help but wonder. It wasn't quick either. It just kept going. Absolutely stunning.

Perhaps a bit of grace to keep my from falling into a total pit of negative thinking, huh? Anyhow, it was truly awesome. Funny thing . . . awesome. The word "awesome" has been a topic of conversation around here. Quite often one of the boys asks the meaning of a word. If we don't know exactly how to define the word, I will often hand them the dictionary to find it. Yes, obsolete skill, right? But I do. So this week the word "awesome" was looked up and it was decided upon a by a few family members to try harder at using words more carefully. Mr. Basil, in particular, has been more thoughtful in how he uses the words "awesome" and "cool."

So the timing of the weather last night was serendipitous because it truly was awesome.

awe·some

  [aw-suhm]  Show IPA

adjective

1.

inspiring an overwhelming feeling of reverence, admiration, or fear; causing or inducing awe: anawesome sight.

2.

showing or characterized by reverence, admiration, or fear; exhibiting or marked by awe.

Doug told me that he looked outside and one part of the sky was dark with clouds, one had a striking rainbow and then the other part was the crazy light. Later I peeked outside and only saw a bit of the rainbow fading away. 

I went to bed feeling badly for the kiddos. I always want my kids to feel cherished, never a burden. I made up my mind not to worry all night but to apologize first thing in the morning. So I did. I made my apologies first thing. Hugs were given. And my favorite special pancakes were whipped up for the crew (so thankful that I happen to have just the right ingredients this morning: farm fresh eggs, fresh blueberries, lemons, and buttermilk. Yum!). I hope they felt love all around. Even in their bellies. 

I had originally thought that today would be the day of great celebrating since Doug's paper is due today but it seems that he'll need to hit it hard tonight as well, sending it in late tonight.

So I again get the opportunity to practice gratefulness, true love, patience, and humility. Lord, give me the grace!!

And tomorrow . . . tomorrow will be the day of great celebrating! 

But there are reasons to celebrate every day, right? 

Godspeed to you all today! Carry on friends in this journey of seeking contentedness and gratitude! We are blessed! 

And keep your eyes open for Jesus is coming! Someday.   

Monday Musings

Oh, the "busy" life. It's the modern ailment isn't it? Maybe it isn't just a modern problem. I saw a quote by Socrates (Socrates, btw, what a guy!! we read about him the other day in our history book. a post of its own right there!) the other day on Pinterest. "Beware the barrenness of a busy life." Oooh, I love that. Tis so true.

The stock response has got to be one of my biggest pet peeves. Forgive me if you use it. I love you, its just the phrase drives me nuts. You see someone that you genuinely love and ask "How have you been?" or "How are you?" The person responds, "Oh, busy." I smile and nod but really I'm thinking "Oh come on! I love you. Don't tell me that. I really want to know and "busy" tells me absolutely nothing." I suppose I loathe the common casual question "How are you?" for the same reason. I usually avoid even answering the question because chances are the person doesn't really want me to answer honestly. Why? Because they are busy and don't have the time to have a longer conversation.

Busyness.

So why do I rant to you all? I know you love me because you came to here to check in. Maybe your affection is more for seeing how our four kiddos are growing as of late. You came to see what our Wisconsin clan is up to.

And that is my rant. The seemingly insufficient funds when it comes to that rare commodity. Time. But it isn't a rant really. I just thought I'd open up my heart just crack for you all to peer into for a moment. Share the struggle in my heart. And I just know that 95 percent of you have the exact struggle as I do. I want to share that journey along with you. The other 5 percent of you are retired and probably don't share the same time frustration as the rest of us. You probably have a time frustration that I won't understand for another 30 years.

Time. The meaning of life. My purpose. The gifts given to me. Time. How I use it?

As I wash the dishes, fold the laundry, nurse the baby, do all these things I ponder these things. Over and over again. The fact that there are 24 hours in a day. 7 days in a week. I have all these things that are important to me. I actually have quite a simple life compared to many and intentionally do my best to keep it simple. I keep it simple to allow more margin in my time budget time. We are all on the same budget. I try to give the most important things in my life the largest segments of time. And, of course, those segments are time are given to my children. That is why I stay home with them. To give them large volumes of quality time.

But you loved ones are important too. I love each of you very much. This little space here is a way that I've found to love you. It seems like a small segment of time for how much you all mean to me. But it seems that finding that fraction of time to connect meaningfully with you all is becoming more and more difficult. And there lies my frustration. Frustration that there aren't enough minutes for all the things I'd like to do. One of them being with taking pictures of our life and sharing them with you.

I love to share my heart and mind with you. Things I find interesting, fun, or even thought-provoking. It's like an adult show-and-tell. I've got a number of things rolling around in this head of mine. I'd love to share. I suppose I tell you this as sort as an apology. I am quite sure you all are not offended in any way. It's me that is disappointed. Me and my woes about time management. I just want you all to know that I love you to pieces. Bear with me as I post just every now and then when I grab a moment. And perhaps at some point, I may get super efficient at budgeting my time. Or maybe not. In any case, I think I'll stay the course and post as I am able. I love it here. I love you and I love sharing our lives.

In the meantime, this blog will have to stay a little lower on the totem pole of priorities.

Oh yes, about "busyness." I forgot to go there. Oh, goodness. That's a blog post I'd like to write about too. The effort not to get caught up in the "busyness" whirlwind that seems to run our world. I don't want to step on that bandwagon. I do not want my life to be defined by busyness. Yes, my life is full to the brim with a number of wonderful things. But I will cease to appreciate those wonderful things if I am ever a slave to productivity and the menacing "to do list." It's a battle. To be efficient but also to be present.

That is why I LOVE that reminder from Socrates. BEWARE. Beware of the mind set on fast forward. The list of things to do taking over the mind and heart space. I want so much to actually LIVE this life. To take moments to breath it all again. To see my children clearly for all the wonder that surrounds them. To live in beauty and truth. To be awake and listening for that gentle voice of my Creator.

A busy life IS barren. Barren. What grows in barren soil? Nothing! I want that deep, rich soil of life. That kind of life is cultivated by a purposeful slowing down. My ponderings are often about that. How can I engage in this life of mine? A life is that FULL. How do I engage in my full life in a way that isn't franic, ie busy?

That is where my heart is much of the time. What about you? Is this a huge one for you? What is on your to do list? And how do you not let the 'to do' list become your master?

Anyhow, off to that 'to do' list. Clean up this lunch dishes, paint on that mural (wahoo! I'll have to show you), and reading/spelling with the boys. I am glad that I invested a little time here with you, loved ones. I hope it was coherent in some sense. A good editing probably won't happen. So forgive my mistakes.

Hugs!!


Oh, yes and lately. What are we up to? Doug took the day off Friday. He went to church, I went on a walk and then gathered groceries. In the afternoon we went to a hotel about 20 minutes away. GREAT FIND! A hotel 20 minutes away among the cornfields. A dazzling weekend away, huh? LOL. But really, a great idea. We will do it again! Good prices and great rooms. We had a nice room with a comfy king-sized bed in its own area. The room also included a sitting room with a fold-out couch and chairs. Very nice and spacious for a family. The kids loved spending some time in the pool. Very nice pool! I lounged by the pool in a beach chair with a good book and the baby. The good life!  The breakfast was excellent too. Check it out: The Comfort Suites.

The next day we got up and went to the maple syrup festival at the Mackenzie Outdoor Education Center. Another great find! We'll do that again as well. I will probably go again with just the kids and walk the trails there. It's getting warmer now, so that will be excellent. We'll make it a science day. :)

Sorry about the lousy quality and quantity of pics today.

Gratitude

On a blustery morning . . .

there is much that warms my heart . . .

Hoping to live this week through a lens of gratitude. A happy heart is a thankful heart. 

"It is not happy people who are thankful. It is thankful people who are happy." 

NFP Awareness Week

Our Experience


I'm thinking that NFP (natural family planning) awareness week is just ending. This morning a thought popped into my head, "I should lift my little voice in honor of the week." So I'll give it a go. Oh, I'm sure this could cause a few to wriggle in their seats and others' hackles could be raised but well, its my blog.
Wahoo! I can do as I please. Anyhow, I think most of you are life-long friends and family and will love me anyhow. Yeah for love!

Let me say this, I guess I'd like to think I'm a somewhat non-judgmental person. I could very, very well be mistaken in this presumption. Oh, I definitely have some strong opinions/beliefs in a number of areas and don't mind sharing them with others at times. If you believe something is good, then why not share with others? But at the same time, I realize that everyone is in a different place. We also have different histories, environment, goals, and exposure. There are so many more circumstances in life that places us at a particular chapter in our story of life.

I know that I am a person with a multitude of short-comings, faults, and blind spots. I surely hope that other don't expect perfection from me and in turn, I hope that I don't expect perfection in others. We can just encourage each other to reach onward and upward, right?

All that to say, if you aren't gung ho about NFP like I am, no worries. I'm not going stalk you with my convictions. I believe in it with all my heart but I'm not about to force anything on anybody. We all have our own decisions to make.

Anywho, our story. Doug and I have used NFP for our nine years of marriage. Actually after the boys were born, it was essential to learn the Creighton Model because of a couple reasons that I'd be glad to share. In any case, we have planned our family size naturally for nine years. We have conceived three times and all three were planned pregnancies. I want to say that the accuracy rate for NFP/Creighton Model is in the high 90th percentile; higher than both the pill and condoms. IF. USED. CORRECTLY. Doug and I were highly motivated and dedicated to plan naturally, so it has worked for us. I know that a large number of women have cycles that can just go nutty. There are definitively great resources for women who are in this position.

So let me tell you the little story of how this began for us. One evening Doug and I were talking by our cars outside a friend's house in Rochester, MN. I doubt we had even been dating a month (we dated maybe two months total!). I forget the exact topic we were discussing but at one point as we are sitting on the curb one of us says, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" And the other says something like "No, we can't talk about this. We're barely dating." We go back and forth and then spill the beans. "I don't believe in birth control!" says one. "Really? Me too!" says the other. I can remember feeling so relieved and kind of had the "green light" to look further into if this guy could be "the one." You don't find this conviction often. At this point my reasons were health reasons and Doug's moral.

Soon thereafter we got to thinking that there must be some way to do this "naturally." So we went to Barnes and Nobles to look in the family/parenting section to find a book that might help us learn how to plan naturally. We stumbled upon "The Art of Natural Planning." Perfect! We bought the book and started studying. I also supplemented that book with "Taking Charge of Your Fertility." We studied the method and I waited nervously for our wedding day. I was definitely nervous if this was really going to work. We took it slowly, observed carefully and followed all the rules. It worked! We conceived our first babies one year later when we had planned to have our first baby. The book didn't say anything about getting TWO at the same time! Now that wasn't fair! lol!

NFP observes daily rising temperature (among other signs) and requires certain sleep habits. Well, any sleep habits I had had were thrown out the window when the boys were born. I certainly could not afford to get pregnant again with two newborns. Plus, I was breastfeeding which throws off a women's cycle and signs. AND I was on coumadin (an anti-coagulant) which causes birth defects. We seriously needed help. We signed up for private classes on the Creighton Model in Rochester. The Creighton Model is a very scientific method developed by Dr. Hilgers and a number of doctors around the world have been trained in this system. It uses mucus observation in a very regulated, systematic approach. It was a tough year learning this method but we did it by the grace of God!

After nine years I can say that I would NEVER do this any other way. I am confident Doug would say the same. I have never had to mess with my system with the pill. So glad about that! I've learned so much about my body and Doug has learned much about how a woman's body works as well. Using these methods forces us to communicate and work together. We talk about our wishes/desires and collaborate together. We believe that planning a family naturally is the best way for a marriage and for society as a whole. And it allows a couple to give their WHOLE lives to each other AND to God. Them's big words, I know. I don't have time to be too eloquent (not sure if I am EVER eloquent) because I gotta get lunch on for these three little blessings (four if you count the one in the oven). Let me leave you with a few quotes and passages I find interesting. And if you made it this far and disagree, please try not to be offended. That's the last thing I would want.

Genesis 1:28
"Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it . . . "

Psalms 127
"Lo, sons are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward."

"In applying this scientific knowledge to regulating fertility, technology in no way substitutes for the involvement of the persons and neither does it intervene by manipulating the nature of the relationship, as is the case with contraception in which the unitive meaning of the conjugal act is deliberately separated from its procreative meaning. To the contrary, in practicing natural methods science must always be joined with self-control, since, in using them, virtue-that perfection belonging specifically to the person-in necessarily a factor.
       Thus we can say that periodic continence, practiced to regulate procreation in a natural way, requires a profound understanding of the person and of love. In truth, that requires mutual listening and dialogue by spouses, attention, sensitivity for the other spouse and constant self-control: all of these are qualities which express real love for the person of the spouse for what he or she is, and not for what one may wish the other to be. The practice of natural methods requires personal growth by the spouses in a joint effort to strengthen their love." JPII   

"I urge advocates of artificial methods to consider the consequences. Any large use of the methods is likely to result in the dissolution of the marriage bond and in free love."
-Mahatma Gandhi, 1925 

"Carried to its logical conclusion, the committee's report (to allow martial contraception) if carried into effect wold sound the death-knell of marriage as a holy institution, by establishing degrading practices which would encourage indiscriminate immorality. The suggestion that the use of legalized contraception would be "careful and restrained" is preposterous.
-Editorial in the Washington Post, 22 March 1931

"Readers of that novel soon realize that the whole of society of Brave New World is built upon the technology of sex."
-The Art of Natural Family Planning *(I read it this year and can vouch for this statement)

"In 1910, the year of the last general census before Margaret Sanger began promoting contraception, the divorce rate was one divorce for every 11.4 marriages. By 1977, there was one divorce for every two marriages."

"I know that couples have to plan their family and for that there is natural family planning. The way to plan the family is natural family planning, not contraception. In destroying the power of giving life through contraception a husband or wife is doing something to self. This turn the attention to self and so destroys the gift of love in him or her. In loving, the husband and wife must turn the attention to each other, as happens in natural family planning, and not to self, as happens in contraception. Once that living love is destroyed by contraception, abortion follows very easily."
-Mother Theresa

If this has peaked the interest of anyone out there, there is an excellent lecture on CD out there that I believe you can order for free. It is called "Contraception, why not?" by Janet Smith. Janet Smith is a Catholic Christian but for those of you who are not of the Catholic tradition (I am not either), I do not think you will find yourself in disagreement or put off by what she says. It is very common sense goodness in there!